But How Can I Help the Canadian Military?

By David Swanson, World BEYOND War, May 10, 2023

It’s so inspiring that the Canadian military asked the public what it could change to get people to be willing to join. The obvious U.S. answer of poverty and grotesque prices for education probably won’t work — or at least may not be sufficient in the near term. And people would probably object to mandatory JROTC. Unfortunately, I missed the deadline to answer the survey, but I really want to help the Canadian military, so here are my answers to the questions:

Supporting our people

• How can National Defence modernize our approach to supporting a life in service, which has both unique rewards and unique challenges?
  Shift 100% of the budget to paying reparations to victims.
• What do prospective CAF members expect from their service?
  Moral injury, physical injury, global contempt, suicidal tendencies.
• How can the CAF increase its attractiveness in the 21^st century labour market?
  Lose the uniforms and the weapons. Murder is passé.
• What culture change reforms are needed to ensure that the CAF is a modern military that can implement its defence policy?
  Train the entire nation in unarmed civilian defense.

Building organizational capacity

• What insights might be adapted from other business sectors and the private sector writ-large to make Defence more effective and efficient?
  Other business sectors? Admitting that organized murder is a business is a bad look.
• How can DND/CAF best learn from innovators and entrepreneurs? Defence experts?
  Replace CANSEC weapons show with a gathering of experts in actual defence of human life and the environment.
• How often should the Defence Policy be reviewed and updated?
  Every time people catch on to its BS enough to ruin recruitment goals.
• How can ongoing engagement be reflected in that update?
  By pretending to listen to sensible advice.

Maintaining and adapting the essential capabilities of the CAF

• What core capabilities should DND/CAF maintain? What can be phased out?
  Licensing children’s cartoons featuring Mounties should stay. Everything else can go.
• How can DND/CAF secure critical supply chains?
  Admitting that by “defence” you mean “securing critical supply chains” may explain support for coups in Latin America, but, again, it’s not a good look.
• What are the best ways to partner with industry to fulfill operational requirements?
  Have you tried bombing striking workers?
• What type of role should the CAF be playing on climate related emergencies?
  Cease existing as a top destroyer of the climate, impediment to cooperation, and waster of resources.

Upgrading Continental & Arctic defences

• Who are DND/CAF’s critical partners in this area? How should they be engaged?
  My cousin really, really hates Russia; can he help?
• What role should Canada play in Arctic security? What is Canada’s optimal role in Arctic security?
  Stop engaging in activities that melt ice, and stay the hell out.
• How can DND/CAF keep pace with technological change in a way that balances cost with mission effectiveness?
  Have you tried AI generals?
• How can the people living in the region contribute to improving our defence and security posture?
  By telling you to get the hell out.

Capabilities needed for modern conflict

• How should DND/CAF, working with other Government of Canada partners, pursue procurement needs?
  Lies, lies, giant bonuses, lies, free beer.
• How can DND/CAF procure capabilities with greater speed and agility?
  Trained cheetahs.
• What changes should DND/CAF implement to improve the share of Indigenous procurements?
  You’ve tried ruining their homes with pipelines, right?
• What are Canada’s security challenges? What adversaries and/or threats should drive our investments?
  Nuclear apocalypse, ecosystemic collapse, poverty, homelessness, violence, and the wasting of resources on the insanity of organized killing.