Help the Air Force Name Its New Bomber

By Gar Smith

The Secretary of the Air Force has asked for help in naming the B-21 long-range strike bomber — “A Bomber for the 21st Century” in her words.

The contest is set to run through May 6 and it is open to “members of the US Air Force active duty force, Air Force Reserve and Air National Guard, and their dependents, members of the US Air Force Civil Service and US Air Force retirees.” According to the official rules, taxpayers are “disqualified” from participating. Perhaps for good reason.

I think taxpayers and “ordinary citizens” should have an equal opportunity to participate in this naming game.

To get things started, here are a couple of names that occurred to me:

Flying Budget-buster
$58-Billion Boondoggle
A Bummer for the 21st Century
The Grummanator

Post your entry as a comment below.

More information:

USAF Won’t Reveal How Much Its New Bomber Really Costs
Scott Amey / The Project On Government Oversight

(April 12, 2016) — The recently announced Long Range Strike Bomber is moving forward with no one in Congress knowing its actual price tag. Despite requests by the chair of the Senate Armed Services Committee, the Air Force has decided against releasing the final contract value to taxpayers. It stands by its decision to only release estimates. The B-21 contract, which was awarded to Northrop Grumman in October 2015, now is estimated to cost taxpayers as much as $58 billion.

Here’s the link to the video of Secretary James making her pitch:

Ladies and Gentlemen, It Is My Distinct Honor to Give You a Bomber for the 21st Century

Secretary of the Air Force Deborah Lee James presents the artist rendering of the B-21 during her “State of the Force” presentation during Air Force Association’s Air Warfare Symposium.

ORLANDO, Fla. (February 26, 2016) – [James reads from a prepared text.]

Do you think anyone here would be interested in seeing a new bomber for the 21st century? Really seeing it?

[Silence.]

You think there’s any interest? You guys wanna see it?

[Applause.]

All right then. All right then.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, it is my distinct honor to give you a bomber for the 21st century. The B-21. There it is, the B-21.

[A screen projection displays a painting of Northrop Grumman’s proposed stealth bomber.]

So we have an image, we have a designation, but here’s what we don’t yet have…

[The actual bomber? Well, there’s that, but something else, too….]

We don’t yet have a name. And this is where I’m challenging and I’m calling on every Airman today.

[Female members of the USAF need not apply?]

We want our active duty, our national guard, our reserve, our civilians, our family members. We’d like all of you to give us your best suggestions for a name for the B-21 – America’s newest bomber.

And in so doing, we hope that you’ll take the opportunity [and we’re going to try to facilitate this for you as well] that we can all learn more about the important role that this platform is going to play against the real threats that we will face as the United States of America with our allies and partners around the world in the future. Together, we’re going to lead our Air Force, our military and our country into the next generation of warfare dominance.

[Music swells in the background. The USAF logo fills the screen.]

— —
Name that Bomber: US Air Force Opens B-21 Contest

RT News

(March 8, 2016) — In a bid to be more receptive, the US Air Force has invited its members and their families to suggest a name for the next-generation bomber, known as the B-21. Still on the drawing board, the new plane is intended to replace the aging US bomber fleet.

Speaking at the “State of the Air Force” press event on Monday, Air Force Secretary Deborah Lee James announced the contest, which will run through May 6. It is open to “members of the US Air Force active duty force, Air Force Reserve and Air National Guard, and their dependents, members of the US Air Force Civil Service and US Air Force retirees,” according to the official rules.

The lucky contestant whose name for the new bomber is chosen “will have the prestige of naming the Air Force newest bomber and will be highlighted” on the USAF website, the service branch announcement said. “The participant may also be selected to attend the Air Force Association’s Air & Space Conference and Exhibition in September 2016 to be acknowledged by Air Force leadership.”

After James unveiled the artistic rendering of the B-21 at an Air Force Association conference in Florida last month, Defense News conducted an unofficial poll of its readers to get feedback on some of the suggestions. Of the names on offer, “Valkyrie” was the most popular, with “Wraith” coming in second.

James also named the seven sub-contractors that will help build the bomber. Pratt & Whitney of Connecticut will build the engines, while BAE Systems of New Hampshire, GKN Aerospace of Missouri, Janicki Industries of Washington, Orbital ATK of Utah, Rockwell Collins of Iowa, and Spirit Aerosystems of Kansas “will work on airframe and mission systems,” the secretary said.

It is no coincidence that the artistic concept for the new B-21 bears a striking resemblance to an earlier stealth bomber, the B-2 Spirit. The USAF awarded the contract to develop and build about 100 B-21s to Northrop Grumman, makers of the B-2.

Only 21 Spirits were ever built, at the “flyaway cost” of $737 million apiece, before the program was scrapped in 2000. Northrop has pledged to keep the price tag of the B-21 at or below $550 million apiece, in 2010 dollars.

To bridge the gap until the B-21 is built and deployed, the USAF is refitting its aging fleet of B-1B Lancers and planning to overhaul the B-52 Stratofortress bombers, which have been in service since the 1950s.

Post your contest entry naming this thing as a comment below.

457 Responses

  1. I dub thee “The Terrormaker”; it destroys civilian populations and makes new terrorists whose whole purpose is to destroy the West due to only seeing this as its representation.

  2. The Fantastic Murder Machine
    The Long-Distance Decapitator
    The Nondiscriminatory Party Crasher
    The Brown Baby Disintegrator

  3. Just think of all the things the money that was spent on these bombers could be used on instead. And then to see how much they blew on former bombers which were never deployed. My name for the bomber would BE:

    EXCESSIVE FORCE

    How on earth would such a bomber do anything at all to combat enemies in today’s reality of terrorists who employ cellphones, the internet and rogue players planting bombs in random locations? We need a completely different kind of military to deal with today’s threats. All this bomber would do is cause a horrific amount of death and destruction amongst the very people being victimized by terrorism.

  4. The Mitchell Butterfly.

    (The USAF has, of course, had Mitchell bombers in the past. This one, though, is named for Joni Mitchell and her song that includes the lyrics “And I dreamed I saw the bomber death planes riding shotgun in the sky / Turning into butterflies above our nation.)

  5. “Plan B” (“Bombs” obviously.)
    “American Export”
    “American Negotiator”
    “American Consumer”
    “American Apology”
    “American Regret”
    “American Sorrow”
    “American Goodbye”
    “Ugly American”
    “Pax Americana”
    “Formal Complaint”
    “Flying Abortion Clinic”
    “Baby-Killer”
    “Pro-Lifer”
    “Population Reduction Program”
    “Exterminator”
    “Extinction”
    “Extinction Event”
    “Game Over”
    “Negotiation Over”
    “Vulture”
    “Pale Rider”
    “Blood-Letter”
    “Blood-Spiller”
    “Blood Rain”
    “Death Rain”
    “Death’s Little Helper”

  6. “Eisenhower Who”

    “Maximalist Capitalist”

    “Venture Capital”

    “Trail of Tears II”

    “Yippee ki-yay..”

  7. The most negative name that I can think can be a real name for the plane is the “Killer”.

  8. U$A’s Finest–Murdering for Dollars and Profit and Proud of It,

    or,

    Love from Up Above–Killing into the 21st Century,

    or,

    Murdering from on High So That Our Dollars Can Flow,

    or,

    Laying down the Law from Above–Joy-Murder for Dollars in the 21st C,

    or,

    We’re Not Really Angry with You; We Just Thought We’d Destroy Your Country; You Don’t Mind, Do You?

    or,

    Could This Be Why You Hate Us?–Perhaps More Murder Will Change Your Minds,

    or,

    They Used to Call This Evil; We Call it Free Trade in Bombs–Here, Have a Few More,

    or,

    Free Trade=Free Bombs=Free Love,

    or,

    Is It Still Murder When It’s Done from 30,000 Feet?

    or,

    U$A Air–Dealing Death from the Air and Killing Powerless Peoples for 60+ Years and Counting,

    or,

    Death, Inc., U$A,

    or,

    We Bomb You because We Love You,

    or,

    We Bomb You So That We Can Save You from Worse Fates,

    or,

    Murder from Heaven: U$$A in the 21st C.

  9. These are excellent. The suggested names should be commensurate with the associated atrocities. By all means, the fiercer the better when it comes to naming the Hypocritical, Rationalized Murder of U$ Military Machine.

    1. Love it, can’t let the Royal Navy have all the good names! Might I suggest a riff on the #1 Air Force name?

      the FAILkyrie

  10. Conscience Killer
    Murder Machine
    Hate Spreader
    Winged Assassin
    Curse of Empire
    Fearmonger
    Terrorizer
    Pride of the Yankees
    Nightmare Bringer
    Warlock
    Endgame
    Evil Intent
    Death Dealer
    BloodBeast
    Extinguisher

  11. The Bamboozalator
    Darth Bomber
    The Tax Dragon
    Revenue Buster
    Thanks Suckers…… (I thought they could paint that on the bottom of the wing so the taxpayers would at least know that SOMEONE was thinking about them).

  12. “Hazardous WAQI” (World Air Quality Index)
    But if I had to choose from the entries already posted, I would have to declare a tie between Alan Mitchell’s “Corporate Tool” and Kate Jones’ “Pride of the Yankees”.

  13. 20 possible names:

    1.The Striker
    2. Hellblazer
    3. Yankeemachine
    4. Warhawk
    5. Unabomber
    6. Empire Destroyer
    7. Thunderbomb
    8. Mechanical Grasshopper
    9. Evil Destroyer
    10. Zombiejack
    11. Windjammer
    12. Infernal Rabbit
    13. Vampireslayer
    14. Goose Pulverizer
    15. Bastarddragon
    16. Turtlehawk
    17. Seagull Pat
    18. Pythonslayer
    19. Hickenlooper
    20. Hellisaurus Rex

  14. The genocider
    Bye Bye Freedom
    The civilian tamer
    $Cha-Ching$
    Got Mass-Murder?
    Obomber
    SoDamn Insane
    Your Tax $

  15. 1. the President O’Bomber
    2. the M.I.C. bloat boat
    3. the CIA (Corporatocracy In Action)
    4. the Plane Drain

  16. Two possible names:

    1. Guernica [reference to Luftwaffe bombing of civilians during Spanish Civil War]

    But that’s a bit too esoteric. The winner should be:

    2. Canceled [future Northrop Grumman ad: “B-21 Canceled”]

  17. Demoncracy (demon + democracy)
    NWOOT (NWO + woot)
    Innopence (innocence + penance)
    Sadness
    Exporterror (export + terror)
    Ground Pounder
    Groancloak
    Globecop
    Blinder
    BOOMerang
    Red Phone
    Why They Hate Us
    Worth It
    S&Master
    Perpetual War
    Liberterror (libery + terror)
    Glassed
    Weepwing

  18. The Prince Serg
    The Cavilo
    Vordarian’s Pretendership
    The Vorrutyer
    The Ryoval
    The Ser Galen
    The General Metzov

  19. 10.SkyVest
    9. Homicide Bomber
    8. BabyBlaster
    7. AngerPillow
    6. JihadMaker
    5. OilGrabber
    4. Fist O’The Banker
    3. Obammer
    2. GenerationRobber
    1. Americanater

  20. The Batarang

    Because I think it looks like something Batman would fly in… and because I don’t hate the military, and think we actually need advanced military planes… but the F-35 is a POS!

  21. “Nation shall not lift up sword against nation. Neither shall they make war anymore.” Why don’t we try to be friends with China and Russia. I have taught English in both countries. Students have commented – afraid of the U.S. The bomber’s name? SHAME

  22. How about “No Healthcare for America”? With the trillions wasted on this and other useless devices that malfunction and kill or maim our troops, we could have excellent universal healthcare for all of us.

  23. American Democracy
    Civilian Casualty Machine
    Freedom Bomber
    Money Maker
    Big Brother
    Ministry of Peace
    Tax Dollar Disposal Unit
    The American Way

  24. Caucasian Death Machine

    Genocides R US

    Nuke You

    Death Drone

    America can order this from Alibaba for half the price

    Have a nuke day

  25. “What Happened To Play Nice With Others”
    or the
    “Who Said Politics Was About Being Smart”
    or maybe even the
    “Naner Naner Naner Mine Is Better Than Yours”

  26. some possibilities:

    USA! – Unabashedly Selfish Assholes!
    SCAM – Scumbags, Crooks, and Mercenaries
    Mordor
    KKK (Killary Klinton’s Kleptocracy)
    M-16 (Megalomaniac -16)
    Wedding Crasher
    G-3 (Genocide -3)He Who Must Not Be Named
    Taxpayer Ripoff
    SWD-69 – Sociopathics’ Wet Dream 69
    PH-D – Psychopaths’ Heavenly Deathstar
    Hypocrisy Haven
    RWMWD – Rich White Men’s Wet Dream
    BAMM – Bad-assed Murdering Machine
    WHAM – We Hate Anyone Muslim
    BOOM – Bullying Overlords’ Odious Mission
    ScumBAG – Scum Bombing Another
    ALAW – Another Lie Another WAR
    BAU – Business as Usual
    WOOPS – Wipe Out Our Planet, Suckers
    ASSHAT – American Scapegrace Sickos Hit Another Town
    WTF -War Titillates Fuckers
    FBF – Fuckers Bombing Fuckees
    AMI – Annihilate More Innocents
    WNthP – War to the Nth Power
    Empath
    Savior
    “Bridge Builder”
    DDT -Darth’s Deathstar Terror
    The Rapture
    XPEB – Xenophobe Psychopaths Eternally Bombing
    PAP – Psychopaths At Play

    i could go on ad infinitum…

  27. some more:

    BIFF – Bomber Idiots For Freedom
    SLS – So Long Suckers
    EXCEL – Extortionist Xenophobic Cunning Evil Liars
    BRAVE – Bullies Reaping Another Vile Evisceration
    RAPT – Raping and Pillaging Terrorists
    DIENOW – Death in Excessive Numbers Onerous Weapon
    Dying for Dollars

  28. $pawn
    $pawn o’ War
    Peacele$$
    In$anity
    $pawn of In$anity
    $pawn of Corruption
    In$anity’s $pawn
    MIC $pawn
    MIC Profiteer
    War$tarter
    Bribery’$ Baby
    Peacele$$ for Profit$
    Peacefailure’$ $pawn
    Peacefailure$OnPurpose
    DeathforDollar$
    DeathDealerfor$$$
    Plutocracy’$ Pride
    $on of Plutocracy
    PeaceKiller
    PeaceKillerforProfit$
    PeaceKillerfor$$$
    Hellfor$$$

  29. 1. Chickenhawk
    2. Taxguzzler
    3. Bane of the poor
    4. God of terror
    5. IS of the skies
    6. The Wall Street wraith
    7. The flying Ponzi
    8. Billion dollar bomb
    9. Unequalizer
    10. Diplomatic failure
    11. Debtbringer
    12. Blood merchant
    13. Moneymageddon
    14. Death n’ debt
    15. Evil prevails

  30. Murder kids in their beds

    I saw the little kiddies of Libya as they were taken out of their homes, covered in NATO death dust, their guts spilling out of their pampers nappies under their pyjamas, some in pieces with arms and legs coming out of the rubble separately from their torsos. One of the children had his brains spilling out of his head.
    When the Apaches from the UK were shelling Sirte, there was no let up at all to dig the children out from the rubble.

  31. Bacdafucup
    Democracy From America
    The Pacifier
    The This Will You Hurt Us More Than It Hurts You
    The Tax-N-Spend

  32. In the video, Secretary of the Air Force Deborah James sounds so excited about this bomber, the certainty of future wars and your involvement in that vision. She says: “Together, we are going to lead our Air Force, our military, and our country into the next generation of warfare dominance.” She sounds like a warmonger vying for a high-paying, revolving-door sales job with Northrop Grumman. Future generations: Here is someone committed to the certainty of future wars. It is a shame the nation does not have diplomats with similar zeal for peace. We have a Congress bribed to increase war profits and entirely unwilling to commit resources to peacebuilding. Get the big money out of politics and we won’t need this wasteful spending by the military-industrial complex.

  33. $58-Billion Boondoggle

    Works well for a name.

    Important for people to know the price of a single flying waste of taxpayers money.

  34. Hate & Distrust
    Paranoia will destroya
    Nothing good comes from this
    In God we mistrust
    Our idea of practicing religion
    Hypocrite
    Nuke a gay whale for Jesus

  35. Stupid one
    Stupid two
    Stupid hillary
    Stupid dollar
    Stupid us-brain
    Stupid sheet
    Stupid power
    Stupid insane
    Stupid killer
    Stupid you

  36. The WoMD (Weapon of Mass Destruction)
    Assassin-in-chief
    The 1%
    Taxes from the salaried
    Homo homocidis
    The End
    President’s Choice
    Exceptional U$A
    Grim Ripper-in-chiel
    Federal Reserve
    Wall Street
    Stock Market
    Share holder
    The Future
    Extinction

  37. Great Satan’s Boomerang
    Bankers’ Holiday
    The Wedding Crasher
    Bred’n’Circuits
    The Blind Man’s Eye
    50,000 Teachers
    Impotent Rage

  38. “Name the Bomber”

    $tealhLie or

    SkyLie or

    Profit of Doom

    60 Minutes, many years ago, revealed that ‘Stealth airplanes show up on RADAR providing there is a Low Frequency sweep of the spectrum’. The years since have not changed the truth, in fact, “enemy” RADAR has been improved due to Stealth but Stealth is very profitable for its makers so they use the same tactics on taxpayers that is used to sell medicines every night on television.

    1. I cut down my original message too far…
      So how then, are the planes “invisible to RADAR”? We jam the RADAR. The F-117’s that started the Iraq War? Jammers that were airborne, ground based and in the F-117’s themselves made the aircraft “invisible”. Just another reason that we pick on the small, less well-equipped countries.
      So again, Stealth is fiction. Why do you think other countries test it but make it a much lower priority on their deployed aircraft designs?

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