NguJambiya Kai, World BEYOND War, Oktobha 6, 2020
"Yeyiphi iNkwenkwana entle" -
Ibali likaJuneck Livi
Sasibanjwe yimfazwe yamakhaya – ihlokondiba lepetroli laqhushumbisa ikhaya lethu kwilokishi yaseMzantsi Afrika.
Ndandineminyaka emihlanu kuphela ubudala ndingazi noloyiko olwaluqhubeka ngaphandle kwekhaya lam.
Umlo weqela kunye nokubethela iingalo yayiyimiboniso yobukrakra eyavutha kwaye yavutha kwi-inferno enkulu - ndandilixhoba elimsulwa kwaye abo babesilwela ukukhupha "abangcatshi" kwidolophu yabo babengazi ukuba bazitshitshisile iinjongo zabo xa izibane zabo ezivuthayo zibambelele. ulusu lwam. Ekhaya.
kodwa ke kwakhona, akukho boyisi emfazweni.
Kwaye abantu banikela ngobomi babo ngenxa yenkululeko.
Izivubeko zazinzulu kwaye ulusu lwaluxhonywe kwikhaya lam lesibini kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo.
Xa abafundi bengavumi ukumamela utitshala wam wayedla ngokuthi, “Animameli na – ingaba iindlebe zenu zincanyathiselwe njengezikaJuneck”? Kuloo mazwi ambalwa ndeva ukutswina kweentlaka eziluhlaza ezakha ikhaya lethu ndaza ndabukela ngokulambisayo njengoko amadangatye erharnati elambile adla inyama yam encinane. Ngokundingcikiva kukatitshala ndasuka ndasuka ndatsho ndakhala. Ndafumana intuthuzelo kwiingoma zesayreni njengoko ndandisilwa ngendlela engenakuphepheka.
Ndandineminyaka emi-5 kuphela kodwa i-trauma yalala njengomama onqulwayo. Ukhohlakele elunqulweni.
Iinkumbulo zikamama zazingacacanga. IMvumikazi yeJazz yase-Angola uMaria Livi wayenobukrelekrele kwaye ehlekisa kodwa kwakungekho mmangaliso ukhoyo xa utofelo-gazi olosulelekileyo lwabukhupha ubomi bakhe. Eyakhe yayikuphela kwefoto eyasindayo kwimililo yesihogo. Ubomi bam obufutshane babuthe saa phakathi kobutyobo. Mhlawumbi ebendigcina ndisezingqondweni emhlabeni ezantsi kweenyawo zam ezijijekileyo. Okanye yayivela ezulwini phezulu kwentloko yam.
Utata wam kunye nomntakwethu babehlala kwelinye iphondo –
Ndandisisikhumbuzo sezono zobomi kunye nenye ababengayifuni. Umakhulu wafa ngobo busuku buyingozi xa aba bavukeli batshisa idolophu yethu. Zange ndimxelele umcebisi wam ukuba ndilubone njani ulusu lwakhe lushwabana kwaye luxobuka njengoko wayesonga izandla zakhe kum - amehlo akhe endithanda xa ndandineminyaka emi-5 ubudala kwaye emhle kakhulu ekuwolweni kwakhe. Ude akasakwazi ukundibamba.
Intliziyo yakhe ibiya kuba buhlungu ukuba ebesazi ukuba nangona ebezama kangangoko andisafani naloo “nkwenkwe intle” ayithandayo. Mhlawumbi uyazi. U Aunty uAya ebengumama olungileyo kum bendisikelelwe ngomama abandibonisa ukukhanya kothando.
Ubuso bam obonakeleyo kunye nezandla ezikhubazekileyo zaba yintlekisa yomntu wonke kwaye isigculelo sandilandela sijikeleza –
Ndacatshulwa ndaza ndabethwa ngaba balwela inkululeko yam;
owaphanga inkqubo yenkululeko yam.
Ngubani owatshisa ikhaya lam, wabulala ingelosi yam ekhuselayo kwaye wabulala amaphupha am. njengeegusha ezixhelwayo.
Phezu kwazo nje iinkxwaleko zam, ukholo lwam lwandomeleza; ukuzincama kukamakhulu wam namazwi okufa kwandinceda ukuba ndidlule kwintlungu yokungcungcuthekiswa, ndidlule kwibala “lokubi”.
"Nokuba uthini na uJuneck", wakhwaza ekhohlela ngapha nangapha kweplanga eliqhekekileyo, kunye nenyoka enomlilo eyamunca emqaleni wakhe,
“ungavumeli inkohlakalo yeli hlabathi ibe ubuhle bamaphupha akho”. Izandla zakhe zajikeleza ubuso bam ngokungathi zikhupha idemoni evuthayo. Amehlo egolide kunye nomlomo obomvu obomvu otshica bonke ubuso bam obuneminyaka emi-5 ubudala. Uthixo osoloko endihlupha ngalo lonke ixesha ndivuka.
Umtyholi wayehlala ngaphakathi kwezipili. Akwaba ndafela kweligeza. Kumlo wenkululeko. Ndinqwenela ukuba ihlokondiba elinomsindo lindibulele
Ukuba nje abaxhaphazi abakhohlakeleyo bebenokwazi ukoyikeka kwababethiweyo,
ubundlavini bolusu oluvuzayo ebusweni bomntu – njengesikhothwa esoyikekayo solwimi lwenamba etshisayo – ngelixa isiqhushumbisi esikhohlakeleyo sibeka ubomi bakho phakathi.
Ndandineminyaka emi-5 kuphela ngoko. Kwiminyaka engama-40 eyadlulayo.
Ukususela ngoko ndiye ndawola ubuhle bam, kwaye umphefumlo wam ukhutshiwe kwindawo yentlambululo-miphefumlo.
Andiyi kuxelisa uluntu olwaluphethe ngobuqhophololo kum -
Ndandizimisele ukuba ukuphelelwa lithemba akusayi kundikhulula. Ukuba ndingakhululeka, kuba ndandisazi apho uncedo lwam luvela khona;
amandla am.
Injongo yam.
Ithemba lika makhulu lalilam.
Ngaphaya kweentaba neenduli ndaliphakamisa ilizwi lam, umthandazo wam waphendulwa.
Kolu hambo luhexayo uthando lundithwala ngaphezu kwezaqhwithi zam.
Ndincuma esipilini ndibona uThixo apho.
Amehlo am akhanya luthando
Akukho kubi kum-
Umakhulu wayendithanda ndineminyaka emi-5 ndiseyinkwenkwe entle.
Ngoku ndingumphefumlo omhle
Indoda eyacanda emlilweni;
ukubamba uloyiso
Eli hlabathi ayilokhaya lam.
Ngenye imini nam, njengomakhulu wam,
uya kuba uphelele ngokupheleleyo.
Andisawuva umxhentso wentlaka ezuba ngamagama alihlazo kodwa kuvakala isandi semvula kumakhulu ekhala ngapha nangapha, phezu kweplanga eliwayo kunye nenyoka enomlilo eyayimunca emqaleni wakhe.
"Nokuba uthini na uJuneck, ungavumeli inkohlakalo yeli hlabathi ibambe ubuhle bamaphupha akho".
Ndandithandwa ndineminyaka emi-5 ndiseyinkwenkwe entle.
Ndisisityebi ngakumbi kunokuba ndandinjalo ngoko.
Ngoku ndithandwa yindoda esipilini
Kwaye umfazi obambe isandla sam xa i-blue gum slats ngamanye amaxesha uye ehla engqungqa kum.
Ibali elibunjwe malunga neziganeko zokwenyani kunye neqhawe lokwenyani elichukumise intliziyo yam.
UJambiya Kai ngumbhali onemvakalelo kunye nombalisi wamabali ovela eMzantsi Afrika olungisa intlekele kunye noloyiso lwamava oluntu kwi-tapestry yemifanekiso engalibalekiyo kunye nesikweko. Uthetha ngokunyaniseka kwimiceli mngeni kwezentlalo nakwezomoya kweli xesha lethu.
