Ukuthunyelwa kwakhona Imagazini yeNyanga Juni 26, 2017.
Chappell: Umothuko, ukuhlala yedwa, ukungabi nantsingiselo kubomi bam..kwangoko abantu abaninzi bajoyina amaqela anogonyamelo. Umothuko okwaziyo ukubangela ukubakhona kweyona ntlungu inzulu ebantwini. Ukuba awunayo indlela yokuhamba ngokuphumelelayo kuyo, kutheni ungayinyusa? Abantu bakhetha ukuyicinezela okanye ukuyiphepha okanye ukuyicoca kuba abanaso izixhobo zokwenza enye into. Nditsho noGqirha nje abaqhelekileyo bacamngca ngomothuko.
Inyanga: Yintoni ebangela oku kunyuka okungathethekiyo kwabantu abaziva belahliwe, okanye abanengxaki yokubandezeleka?
Chappell: Zininzi izinto, kodwa ukuba ndingakhomba kuyo sisidingo esingazalisekanga sokuzixabisa.
Xa ndinika intetho ndihlala ndibuza abaphulaphuli bam, yintoni eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu, ukusinda okanye ukuzixabisa? Uninzi lwabantu lukhetha ukuzixabisa ngaphezu kokusinda, kuba ukuhlala kubuhlungu kakhulu xa uziva ungento yanto.
Kwisiko lamaJuda kukho umbono wokuba ukuhlazisa umntu kuyafana nokubabulala. Ukutyhubela imbali yoluntu, abantu abaninzi banokuzibulala okanye babeke ubomi babo esichengeni ukuze baphinde bazive bexabisekile ukuba babazisela ihlazo okanye ihlazo kubo okanye kwiintsapho zabo. Cinga nge-samurai, abanokuzibulala ukuba bahlazisiwe okanye bahlazisiwe; okanye abantu kwixesha elidlulileyo ababeke emngciphekweni wokufa nge-duel ukuba babeziva ngathi bahlazisiwe; okanye kwanabantu abane-anorexia, eya kubeka phambili ukuzixabisa ngaphezulu kokutya, impilo, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ngaphezulu kokuhlala uphila. Phakathi kwesihlanu ne-20 ipesenti yabantu abane-anorexia bayakubulawa sisifo.
Ukuba siyayiqonda into yokuba uninzi lokuziphatha kwabantu kuqhutywa ngabantu bezama ukuziva kufanelekile kwaye bayakubeka emngciphekweni okanye bakhethe ukufa ukuba abanakho, kuya kufuneka siyamkele into yokuba ukungabalulekanga yimeko ebuhlungu kakhulu emntwini. Nangona kunjalo umhlaba mkhulu kakhulu kunokuba wawunjalo ngaphambili. Abantu abaninzi abakwazi ukufumana indawo yabo kuyo.
Amaziko amadala abantu abaphulukana nokholo kuwo namhlanje, njengoorhulumente, icawe, kunye nesiko, banike abantu intsingiselo, yokuba yeyabo, kunye nokhuseleko. U-Erich Fromm ubhale malunga noku Ukubaleka kwinkululeko-Ukuba abantu banikezele ngenkululeko yabo ukuba ibuyisela ukuqonda kwabo injongo, intsingiselo, nokuba yeyabo, kunye nokhuseleko. Isantya esikhawulezayo sotshintsho kwihlabathi lethu senze abantu abaninzi bakhathazeka, kwaye amaziko amadala awaboneleli mpendulo azinqwenelayo. Ndiyakholelwa ukuba sikwisigaba esiguqukayo njengoko sisiya kwindlela entsha yokuqonda ehlangabezana neemfuno zethu, kodwa ikwayiloxesha eliyingozi kakhulu. Abantu baya kuthobela urhulumente onegunya ukuba bacinga ukuba liza kubanceda bafezekise iimfuno ezisisiseko zabantu.
Ke ayisiyiyo ukuba ubuhlwempu bokomoya butsha; bekusoloko kunjalo kuthi. Nkqu Iliad, eyabhalwa phantse iminyaka engamawaka amathathu eyadlulayo, iveza olu hlobo lwentlekele. Kodwa imeko yethu ingxamiseke ngakumbi ngoku kuba imfazwe yenyukliya inokutshabalalisa uninzi lobomi eMhlabeni, kwaye sinesakhono sethekhinoloji yokumisa imeko yethu yendalo. Iziphumo zokungalungisi intlupheko yethu yokomoya zibi kakhulu.
Inyanga: Ukhulele kwikhaya elinobundlobongela kwaye waba ngumntwana okhulelweyo. Uluguqule njani uqeqesho lwakho lwangoko ukuba lube lintshutshiso yoxolo; ewe, ngubani umntu oqeqesha abanye ukuba babe ngabalweli boxolo, ngokunjalo?
Chappell: Kwakuquka ukuguqula ingqumbo ibe yimfesane enkulu. Kwakungekho lula. Ndisebenze kuyo yonke iminyaka eyi-20.
Inyanga: Ngaba kukho umzuzwana apho waqonda ukuba kufuneka wenze utshintsho; ukuba ubundlobongela nengqumbo bekungayi kukusa apho ubufuna ukuya khona?
Chappell: Kusenokwenzeka ukuba yaqala xa ndandikufuphi ne19. Ndikunye neqela labahlobo eWest Point. Yayingumgqibelo ngexesha lokuwa nokucoca kwaye sabelwa ukuya kukha amagqabi ekhampasi. Besithatha ikhefu lomzuzu we-10 kwaye sincokola ngendlela ebudinisa ngayo umsebenzi, xa ndandisithi, “Uyakhumbula na ukuba unesithukuthezi kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo kangangokuba unganombono wokudubula bonke abanye abantwana kwiklasi yakho?” Bonke abanye Abafana bandijonga bathi, “Noooo…”
Khange ndiyikholelwe. Ndathi, “Yiza, nyhani. Awukhe ucinge ngokubulala abanye abafundi? ”Banyanzelisa,“ Hayi. ”Baza ke babuza kum besithi,“ Zingaphi izinto ocinga ngazo? ”Kwaye ndabaxelela,“ Phantse yonke imihla. ”Bonke bakhathazeka kakhulu malunga nam, ndinyanzela ukuba ezo ngcinga zazingaqhelekanga; ukuba ayinguye wonke umntu ocinga ngokubulala abanye abantu. Ngenxa yemeko yam yengqondo ngelo xesha, ndacinga ukuba wonke umntu wayenethemba malunga nokubulawa kwabantu, mhlawumbi ngenxa yokuba bendizenzela wonke umntu okufutshane nam. Ukuphendula kwabafundi endandifunda nabo eWest Point kwandenza ndabona ukuba kukho into eyahlukileyo ngam endifuna ukusebenzela kuyo, okanye iphilise, okanye idilesi.
Emva kwesehlo eso, ndafowunela umhlobo wam omnye kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo ndambuza ukuba wakhe wacinga ngokubulala bonke abanye abantwana esikolweni. Uthe hayi. Emva koko wandibuza, “Xa unale mibono, ngaba ubucinga ngokundibulala nam?” Ndathi, “Ewe. Akukho kwanto buqu. Ndifuna ukubulala wonke umntu ngeloxesha. ”
Kwakothusa ngokupheleleyo ukuba kuloo meko yengqondo. Uninzi lwabantu alunalo nofifi lokuba kukuhlanya okweliphi na inqanaba lomsindo elivakala ngathi. Ukuba ufuna ukubulala abantu abangazange bakwenze enye into embi; nkqu nabantu abangabinanto kodwa emnandi kuwe, usentlungwini enkulu.
Inyanga: Wowu. Yiloo nguqu, Paul. Kwaye ngoku uyintshatsheli yolwazi lokufunda nokubhala. Masithethe malunga noku. Ngumyalelo omde ngokwenene, akunjalo? Inkalo yokuqala nje yolwazi lokufunda ngoxolo, "ukuqonda ubuntu bethu ekwabelwanayo nabo," kubonakala ngathi yinjongo eyandisiweyo.
Chappell: Ulwazi lokufunda nokubhala is ulungelelwano olude, kodwa kunjalo nokufunda izibalo, okanye ukufunda nokubhala. Inkqubo yethu yemfundo ichitha ixesha elifunekayo lokufundisa ezi zifundo; Ukuba sithatha isigqibo sokufunda ngoxolo kubalulekile, singazongela ixesha kunye nezixhobo zethu ukuze silifundise, ngokunjalo.
Ngapha koko, ukulwela uxolo kufuna uqeqesho olungaphezulu kokulwa imfazwe kuba ijongene nezona ngxaki, ngelixa ulwa imfazwe kuphela. Ngethamsanqa, abantu kubonakala ngathi bafumana olu lwazi lunyanzelisa kakhulu. Iyabanika amandla. Banokuqonda bhetele kwaye bajongane nokuziphatha kwabantu-okwabo nokwabanye '.
Abantu bafuna iimpendulo ezilula, kodwa uxolo lokufunda nokubhala luyinkimbinkimbi. Akukho sigaba “semizuzu emithandathu” sokufunda nokubhala ngoxolo. Kodwa ukuba ufuna ukudlala umdlalo kakuhle, okanye ulunge kakhulu kwigita, okanye kwi-violin, kuya kufuneka uchithe ixesha kunye nomzamo kuyo. Ubuchule kuyo nantoni na ethatha ixesha kunye nokuzimisela. Akukho ndlela imfutshane.
Inyanga: Kungenxa yoko kubonakala ngathi ngumyalelo omde. Sikho hayi ukufundisa ezo zakhono esikolweni, ubukhulu becala. Mhlawumbi kwi-kindergarten, apho sifundiswe ukuba sabelane khona, ukutshintshana, kwaye nokugcina izandla zethu kuthi, kodwa asiwuvavanyi umbandela ngobunzima. Ke baqala njani abantu? Ngabo?
Chappell: Ukufundisa ubuntu bethu ekwabelwana ngalo ndigxila kakhulu kubo bonke abantu enifanayo, ngaphandle kohlanga, inkolo, ubuzwe, imfundo, okanye isini. Umzekelo, sonke sifuna ukuthembana. Akukho mntu ungumntu kwiplanethi engafuni ukuba phakathi kwabantu abanokubathemba. UHitler; U-Osama bin Laden; amalungu e-mafia; amalungu ombutho woxolo; amalungu e-ISIS-wonke umntu emhlabeni ufuna ukuba phakathi kwabantu abanokubathemba. Ukwaphulwa kokuthembana, nto leyo esiyibona ngoku phakathi kwabantu baseMelika, kuyonakalisa kakhulu uluntu. Abantu bade baphulukana nokuthembela kumaziko ethu-njengorhulumente, isayensi kunye namajelo eendaba. Akunakwenzeka ukuba ube nentando yesininzi enempilo ngaphandle kwesiseko ekwabelwana ngaso. Olunye uphawu esinalo sonke kukuba akekho umntu othanda ukungcatshwa. Ezi zimbini zezinto ezininzi ezidibanisa bonke abantu kunye nokugqithisa umahluko womphezulu.
Inyanga: Kodwa abanye abantu babonakala bekucaphukela ukwamkela abantu bolunye uhlanga okanye iinkolo ngesiseko semilinganiselo ekwabelwana ngayo. Kukho ividiyo,Konke esabelana ngako, ”Ukwenza imijikelezo yeendaba zentlalo. Ibonisa abantu baseDenmark befumanisa izinto ezininzi abanomdla kuzo, ngaphandle kokungafani kobuso. Yividiyo emnandi, kodwa ndothuka kukubona ukuba uninzi lwamagqabantshintshi ayengamagama anje, "Ewe, kodwa yiDenmark leyo, apho kukho abantu abamhlophe kuphela," belahlekileyo ngokupheleleyo. Sidlula njani emva koko?
Chappell: Ndiyakholelwa ukuba kufuneka siyiqonde ngokupheleleyo imeko yomntu kangangokuba asimangalisi okanye sikhutyekiswe yiyo nantoni na enokwenziwa ngomnye umntu. Sisenokungavumi, kodwa asothusi okanye sidideke yiyo. Indlela kuphela yokujongana neengcambu zengxaki kukuziqonda.
Xa abantu belugxeka "ubundlobongela obungenangqondo," babonisa ukungafumani kwabo ulwazi kuluntu lwethu ekwabelwana ngalo ngenxa yokuba ubundlobongela abuyiyo nto kumntu obenza oko. Xa abantu besenza ubundlobongela babeka emngciphekweni wokuvalelwa, mhlawumbi nangobomi babo, ke banesizathu. Ukuphosa izandla kunye nokubiza ubundlobongela ngokuthi “kungenangqondo” kufana nokuthi ugqirha akuxelele, “Unesifo esingenangqondo.” Nokuba ugqirha wakho akaqondi unobangela wokugula kwakho, uyazi ukuba kukho enye . Ukuba ngugqirha olungileyo, baya kufuna ukuqonda ukuba yintoni. Ngokufanayo, ukuba sifuna ukulungisa unobangela wobundlobongela kwinkcubeko yethu, kufuneka sifikelele apho sinokuthi, "Ndiyaqonda ukuba kutheni uziva ubundlobongela, kwaye nantsi into esinokuyenza." yi; Ukuqonda ezona zinto zibangela indlela yokuziphatha kwabantu kunye nokubonelela ngeendlela zokwenza ngayo oko. Yiyo loo nto ndingalahli themba.
Inyanga: Ndingaphendula njani ngendlela eyakhayo kumntu othetha into enje, "Ewe, kunjalo, abantu baseDenmark banokuhlangana; onke amhlophe ”?
Chappell: Ungaqala ngokwamkela ukuba banqaku. It is Kulula kakhulu ukudibana kuluntu oluhlangeneyo njengeDenmark. Kunzima kakhulu kuluntu olwahlukileyo njenge-United States. Iindwendwe ezivela eYurophu zihlala zandixelela ukuba ziyothusa kangakanani kwiiyantlukwano zaseMelika, kwaye kuthatha umsebenzi omncinci ukugcina uluntu olwahlukeneyo kunye.
Inyanga: Ngaba linyathelo lokuqala eliya kwincoko eyakhayo-ukwamkelwa kwembono yomnye umntu?
Chappell: Kunjengokuba uGandhi wathi, "Wonke umntu unento eyinyani." Andivumelani ngokupheleleyo noko bakuthethayo, kodwa ndiyavuma ukuba babambelele kwinyaniso. Ndiza kubacela ukuba bacace gca, kuba kubonakala ngathi bathetha ukuba abantu banokudibana kuphela xa beluhlanga olunye. Kodwa ndiye ndachaza iimeko apho abantu bazo zonke iintlanga behlangana. Jonga abalandeli bezemidlalo: akunandaba nokuba ngabaluphi na ugqatso; bonke banengcambu yeqela elinye ngenxa yokuba bechonge into ebadibanisa.
Kwaye, ndiza kwenza ingongoma yokuba okulula akusoloko kulungile. Kulula ukungazilolongi; kulula ukungadli ngokusempilweni; Kulula ukuzibekel 'amangomso izinto. Kuthatha umsebenzi omkhulu ukukhuthaza uluntu olusempilweni, olwahlukileyo, kodwa kungcono emntwini ukuba ayenze loo nto. Ukulula kunye nokuziphatha akufani.
Inyanga: Obunye ubuchule bokufunda nokubhala ngoxolo osichongileyo “bubugcisa bokuphila.” Ngaba ungasinika eminye imizekelo yendlela enokufundiswa ngayo?
Chappell: Ubugcisa bokuphila buquka izakhono ezisisiseko ezifana nendlela yokuvana nabanye abantu, indlela yokusombulula ukungaboni ngasonye, indlela yokucelomngeni kulwaphulo-mthetho kunye noloyiso lobunzima Ezi zizakhono zobomi ezisisiseko ezifundwa ngabantu abathile kubazali babo, kodwa kwakhona, abantu abaninzi bafunda imikhwa emibi evela kubazali babo. Ukuphila yimo yobugcisa; eyona ndlela inzima yobugcisa; kwaye asifundiswanga indlela yokuqhubeka ngayo. Njengazo zonke iintlobo zobugcisa, ukuba awufundiswanga, ngokwesiqhelo awazi. Eyona nto imbi kakhulu, inkcubeko yethu ithambekele ekufundiseni iindlela zokuziphatha ezichasayo. Ndicinga ukuba uninzi lokuphelelwa lithemba kunye nokuphelelwa lithemba ngabantu kukuba imbonakalo yehlabathi abayigcinayo ayichazi ukuba babona ntoni, ngoko ke abayazi indlela yokujongana nayo.
Ndifundisa iparadigm ebeka iimfuno ezisithoba ezingezizo zomzimba eziqhuba indlela yokuziphatha kwabantu, kunye nendlela abaxheleke ngayo ekubambeni kwabo kwiminqweno kwaye igqwetha intetho yabo. Xa ezi zidingo zilithoba zabantu ziqondakalayo, sinako ukuqonda ukuba ukusilela kwabo ukuzalisekisa kukhokelela njani kwimeko esiyifumeneyo. Sisenokungamkeli okanye sivumele isimilo esizibonayo, kodwa asothusi okanye sidideke yiyo. Kwaye siyawazi amanyathelo afanelekileyo esinokuwathabatha ukwenza imeko ibe ngcono.
Ukukhulisa ubudlelwane, umzekelo, kubandakanya ukuthembana, intlonipho kunye nemfesane. Ukuba loo mfuneko ibanjiswa kukubi, nangona kunjalo, umntu unokuthi aphendule ngokungazithembi nokungathembeki.
Abantu banomnqweno wenkcazo. Xa umntu ehlelwe zizinto ezibonakala ngathi unxanelwe ulwazi, kungakhokelela ekuphoxekeni okanye kwindawo enembono yehlabathi, ethi abantu bangazithembi kwaye bayingozi, ke kufuneka ubalimele ngaphambi kokuba bakwenzakalise, okanye ubuncinci babalawule kanjalo. ukuba abanakukwenzakalisa.
Abantu banemfuno yokuthetha. Ukuba umntu unxunguphelwe yiyo, ingqumbo iba yindlela yethu yokubonisa. Ukuba imeko ibaxwaxwa yimfuno yethu yokuba lilungu, oko kunokukhokelela kude. Ukuba ubunzima buye babangelwa yimfuno yokuzixabisa, banokukhokelela kwihlazo okanye ekuzenzakaliseni. Ukuba umvandedwa ubanjiswa yimfuno yethu yenjongo kunye nenjongo, sinokuziva ngathi ubomi abunantsingiselo kwaye akufuneki ukuba siphile. Xa unxunguphalo luyekisiwe yimfuno yethu yokugqithisa kunokubangela ukuba likhoboka. Kwaye nangokunjalo. Xa siqonda iimfuno zabantu, sinokuthi sichonge unobangela weendlela ezonakalisayo esizibonayo. Abantu abenzakeleyo banokugcwala ngumsindo, ukuzicekisa, ukungabamkeli abanye, ukungathembani, njalo-njalo, kuxhomekeka kwindlela umntu amva kakubi ngayo lo mntu.
Inyanga: Ngawaphi amanye amanyathelo afanelekileyo esinokuwathabatha ukunceda xa sidibana nomntu onengxaki yomntu okonzakeleyo?
Chappell: Njengoluntu kufuneka siqonde ukuba ezi zidingo zabantu zisisiseko njengokutya namanzi. Ukuba abantu abanakho ukufikelela kwiindlela ezifanelekileyo zokubanelisa, baya kwamkela iindlela ezingalunganga nezonakalisayo.
Kodwa ngowuphi umthombo ophambili wokuzixabisa, injongo, intsingiselo yenkcubeko yethu efundisayo? Ukwenza imali eninzi. Ukuba wenza imali eninzi, kufanelekile. Ayinamsebenzi ukuba unengqibelelo, ububele, uvelwano, okanye amandla okwenza ulwalamano olusempilweni. Ngomqondiso ofanayo, ukuba wenza imali encinci, awunto yanto. Uluntu olunathi lukujonge ukuxabiseka kwethu ngokwemali, ngelixa sityeshela zonke ezinye iimfuno-ukuba zezakho, ukuzixabisa, injongo, intsingiselo, intetho, ukugqithisa, kunye nazo zonke ezinye-kuyila enkulu isithuba sokomoya esinokuzaliswa lula ngamaqela.
Njengoluntu, kufanele ukuba siqalise ukuxabisa nokukhuthaza iindlela zokuziphatha ezifanelekileyo, ukuzithemba, ubuntu, ingcaciso, injongo, intsingiselo, ukugqitha kunye nabo bonke abanye, ngenkonzo, ukuthembeka, ukwenza umhlaba ube ngcono. Kwaye, kufuneka sinike abantu izakhono zokuphelisa umvandedwa wabo. Ukudakumba kuchaphazela abantu abavela kuzo zonke iindlela zokuhamba. I-Trauma ayikhathali nokuba usisityebi okanye ulihlwempu, umnyama okanye mhlophe, yindoda okanye umfazi, umKristu, umSilamsi, okanye umBhuda. Inokuhamba ezindongeni kwaye ingene kumakhaya abantu ngabazali babo, ngokusebenzisa utywala, iziyobisi, ubundlobongela basekhaya, udlwengulo, kunye nezinye iindlela ezininzi. Ke kufuneka sinike abantu izixhobo ezisebenzayo zokunyanga ubunzima babo. Ke emva koko kufuneka sinike abantu izakhono zoxolo, ezizezindlela ezifanelekileyo zokwanelisa iimfuno zabo zokuzixabisa, ukuba zezabo, ukucacisa, ukucacisa, intsingiselo, injongo, kunye nabo bonke abanye.
Inyanga: Zeziphi ezinye zeendlela ezisebenzayo zokungalingani?
Chappell: Yinto efana nokubuza "Yeyiphi indlela esebenzayo yokwenza ubalo, okanye ukudlala ivinol?" Yinkqubo, iseti yesakhono, ekufuneka ifunyenwe. Kunzima kakhulu; kungathatha iminyaka.
Isakhelo endisibonelelayo sinceda kakhulu kuba igama ngxakini ngokubanzi kakhulu. Kuluncedo ngakumbi xa abantu bekwazi ukubona ukubandezeleka kwabo ngokucacileyo; Umzekelo, ukuthi, "Ndihlazekile, okanye ndiyazicekisa." "Ndinengxaki yokungathembani." "Ndinengxaki yokungabinamsebenzi." Yokuba buhlungu kakhulu, indlela yabo, kukungabi naluncedo.
Esi sigama sinika abantu indlela echanekileyo ngakumbi yokuchaza into abaziphethe ngayo. Kwimpilo yam, ndandijongana nokungathembani, umsindo, ulwahlulo kunye nokuzithiba. Omnye umntu unokubandezeleka ngenxa yokuba likhoboka, ubundindisholo, okanye ungenzi nto.
Ndiyazi ukuba loluphi uhlobo lokubandezeleka komntwana wam, kwaye ndiyayazi into endifuna ukusebenza ngayo. Ndingaziphilisa njani iimvakalelo zam zokungathembani? Ndizifumana njani iindlela ezinempilo zokunxibelelana ezingabandakanyi umsindo? Ndiyiphilisa njani imvakalelo yam yehlazo nokuzithiba, okanye imbono yam yokuzahlula? Kwaye imeko yomntu wonke yahlukile.
Inkqubo yokulungisa ibandakanya umsebenzi wangaphakathi kwaye ukuphuhlisa amandla okugcina ubudlelwane obunempilo boluntu. Abantu abaxhwalekileyo ikakhulu badinga izakhono zokwazi ukuthetha kakuhle, ukujongana nengxabano eyakhayo, ukujongana nengqumbo yomnye umntu, ukujongana nengqumbo yabo, njalo njalo, kuba ukusilela kobuhlobo kungabaphazamisa.
Inyanga: Umfundisa njani umntu ukujongana nengqumbo yakhe, umzekelo?
