Andizange ndilindele ukuba ube ngumntu ongenamdla

Ngu Matt Malcom, World BEYOND War

Andizange ndilindele ukuba ngumntu ongenalo unembeza.

Ukuba ubungandibuza iminyaka emibini edlulileyo ukuba ndibize izinto zokuqala eza zikhunjulwe xa ndivile esi sihloko, bekuya kuba ngamagama afana neenkwenkwe, ukwesaba, ukuzingca, ukungazi, nokungazibandakanyi.

Ndiyicinga ukuba indlela yokukhula ihlala isebenza ngayo. Ngoku ndiyabona ukuba la mazwi ayengeke abe kude ne nyaniso.

Le ibali lam, kodwa liye ibali lamakhulu afika phambi kwam, kuphela amanye awaziwayo. Yona ibali lalo lonke uthando olungenasibindi lokuthanda uxolo olungenakuze ludinge ukunika umfaniswano ukuze uqaphele ukuba ubundlobongela abuyi kuba sisisombululo sokwenene naluphi na ulwahlulo. Kwaba bulumko abanokwazi ukuqonda ukuba imfazwe ayinakuncinci ukuyenza ngezisombululo, kwaye zininzi zokwenza ngokukhululeka, ukuphathwa, ubutyebi namandla.

Ngoku ndiyabona ukuba abo bantu ndandizikhawuleza ukugxotha njengengcamango kunye nabuthathaka, ngokwenene balulamileyo abanokulidla ilifa lomhlaba.

Uhambo lwam luqalise ngcamango, enye ehlanganiswe ngcamango yolutsha ukuba iphumelele, yiprogram yomfanekiso wam ubalulekileyo kwihlabathi, ukuba yiqhawe, ibe nesibindi kwaye iqinisekiswe. Lo mfanekiso uqobo lwaba yinto engathandekiyo. Ndifuna ukuqinisekiswa, kwaye ndifuna ukuhamba yonke indlela. Ndasebenza ukuba ndifuna ukulandela utata nomkhulu kumkhosi wenkonzo yam, ukuba ndifuna ukuba ligosa kwi-Army efana nabo kodwa ndifuna umnqweno wam, inotshi eyona kuphela ndiza kuba phantsi kwebhanti lam. Ubawo wamkela ikhomishini yakhe kwiYunivesithi yaseTexas, kunye noomkhulu wam bahamba ngeGosa labaPhezulu kwiSikolo seSatifikethi seSigqeba esikolweni. Ndiya kuyenza ngeWest Point.

Ngoko ndibeka izinto zam kwi-aphoyintimenti. Ndenze konke kum ngamandla okwenza iphupha liyenze. Ndaye ndafunda esikolweni sokuqala (esaziwa njenge-USMAPS) esasisendleleni esivela kwi-campus eyona nkampani yase-West Point xa ndaqala ukukhanyela ukungena kwiklasi ye-2015. Unyaka kamva ndamkelwa kwi-2016 kwaye ndandiva ngathi ubomi bam buphelile.

Ngokuqala kwithuba elide, umnyaka wam unyaka omtsha wawusithuba sokungabi namaphi amaphupha okanye iimfuno zokufezekisa. Ukufika eWest Point yiloo nto endandiyicinga ngayo kangangokuba ndacinga ngento encinane. Kulo mba elitsha apho ndingazange ndihlale ndilungelelanise kwaye ndisebenze ukuya kwindawo ethile, kwakukho ukuthula kwangaphakathi andikaze ndiziwe. Ndinexesha lokucinga, ucelomngeni kunye nokuzimela okuzimeleyo. Kwakhona ndaqheliswa kwindlela yokomoya yokucamngca okwandisa amandla am kunzima nokucinga ngokutsha.

Ndaqala ukuba neendlela ezibonakalayo kwiindawo zendalo. Okokuqala, bekuyi-standard and control of institution like West Point. Ayikho uhlobo oluqhelekileyo lokuxhalabisa "ngomnyaka wonyaka" njengoko kuyaziwayo, kodwa ukuhlakulela ukuziphatha okubi kwezinto esizenzayo kunye nendlela esenza ngayo. Emva koko, ndaqala ukuziva ndingonwabi ngohlobo lwabantu esibaqeqeshe kunzima ukuba; ukuxhomekeka, ukunyaniseka, i-apolitical, abachaphazelekayo abaqhubi bezobundlobongela kunye neenkqubo ezahlukeneyo zoxinzelelo karhulumente. Emva koko ndabona umphumo wokuphila owawuthabatha kumaKapa kunye namaKolononi abuyele ukufundisa. Kwaye kwacaca ngokucacileyo ukuba ukuba andizange ndiphume ngokukhawuleza mna ndiza kunqumla ukuxhatshazwa, ukuphazamiseka, ukuphuka, kwaye ekugqibeleni (kwimeko embi kakhulu) ukwamukelwa.

Ndahlala emagumbini aphilileyo a madoda namabhinqa amaninzi awakhe wahamba endleleni yam kwaye avuleka malunga nokukwazi ukuxhuma okanye ukuva uthando lwabantwana babo. Omnye umfundisi uhlekisayo ukuba xa engayilungiselelanga ixesha labantwana bakhe kwikhalenda yakhe ye-iPhone akayi kukukhumbula ukudlala nabo.

Ndandidlwengula ngenyameko ukukhumbula eli bali kunye namanye amaqela amagosa kwimeko yecawa becinga ukuba baya kuziva bengenakukwazi ukuxhomekeka ngokuphathelele ukuphazamiseka okunjalo ebomini. Ndothusa, bavuma indlela efanayo yokugcina ubomi babo bentsapho.

Anditsho ukuba bangabantu ababi, ndithi lo bomi benza okuthile kuthi sonke, kwaye andizange ndiqiniseke ukuba unempilo okanye uncedo kulo lonke uluntu.

Ngoko ke ndajamelana nokubuza, ngaba kuxabisa? Hhayi nje kum, kodwa kuthekani ngabantu abaza kuwenza umsebenzi wam, abo "bangaphezu koko" kunye nabo baya kufumana ukubethelwa kwezenzo zam zobudlova kwixesha elizayo.

Lo mbuzo uthathe ukukhanya kwexesha lam elizayo kunye nentlalo yam kwaye wawukhanyisela kwabanye, ngokukodwa abantu ababendiqeqeshelwa ukubulala.

Ngokukodwa ngokuthe ngqo, abantu abangenacala babanjwe phakathi babanjwe "ukulimala komonakalo." Ngokuqinisekileyo akukho mntu wayefuna ukulimala, kodwa le nto yayivame ukujongwa ngombono ongacwangcanga ngaphandle kokubamba ingcamango ebomini yobomi. Kwakufana nomda wephutha esiye safundiswa ukuba sihlale ngaphakathi. Ukuba uye waya kude ngaphandle kwelo gama (okt uninzi lwabahlali bafa ngenxa yezigqibo zakho) umphumo uza kuba sesikweni.

Ngeli xesha ndiza kungena kwifilosofi yam-apho zezi zizathu zokuba imibuzo ibaluleke kakhulu. Ndafunda indlela yokubuza imibuzo enomdla, ndafunda indlela yokuphulaphula amazwi endandisoloko ndilahla ngayo, ndafunda ukuvula ingqondo yam kwaye ndiqwalasele ngaphezu koko ndandisoloko ndiyazi. Ndandivumela ukuba ndibe ngumngeni, kwaye ndacela umngeni loo nto ayengenangqiqo.

Ngenye imini emi emagqabini e-granite iholo le-cadet yokukhumbula Ndikhumbula ndibuza umhlobo wam, "Mike, kuthekani ukuba sibafana ababi?"

Kuhlekisa, akukho mntu ucinga ukuba ungumntu omubi.

Ihlabathi lam liye lahlukana.

Njengoko ndiza kum nyaka ophezulu ngoku kucacile ngoku ukuba ndibe ngumphathi wokunciphisa, ukuphazamiseka, ukuzithiba, kunye nokudandatheka. Ngeentsuku zam ezithembekileyo ndaqonda ukuba nam ndihamba kakuhle endleleni eya ekubeni ngubaba kunye nomyeni odeleyo, omnye usuku. Ngeentsuku zam ezimbi kakhulu ndandixoxela kwaye ndathi konke kuya kuphucula xa ndisekho, mhlawumbi iArmik i-Army yayingcono ngakumbi mna ndazixelela.

Kakade, ayizange ibe ngcono. Kwaye ndatshitshiswa kwinqanaba lokugqibela lamagatsha e-Field Artillery-elinye lamagatsha abulala kakhulu.

Njengoko ndandidlulisa uqeqesho lwalo lolawulo lwangaphambili, ubunyamelo obundlobongela bube buninzi. Ndandibulala abantu abaninzi imihla ngemihla. Sibukele iividiyo ezingabanjwanga "abagwetywa ngamagebengu" bekhutshwe njengokuba behleli bengalindelekanga kwisangqa. Omnye wakwazi ukukhupha ngaphandle kokulahlekelwa ngumlenze ekuqhumeni. Boom! Olunye ujikelezo kwaye indoda yaphela.

Uninzi lwam esiklasini nabo bavuya, "Hayi!"

Ndaye kwindawo engafanelekanga.

Kodwa i-Army yayinam. Ndinekhontrakthi yeminyaka eyisibhozo kwaye bahlawula isikolo sam.

Nda qhekeza.

Ngelinye ilanga umhlobo wam memele ukuba ndibukele i-movie Hacksaw Ridge, ibali elidumileyo lenkwenkwezi ngenxa yenkolo ngexesha le-WWII. Ndichitha ifilimu kumgweba, ukulwa neengcamango zam ezisekelwe kwizinto ezisekelwe enzululweni kunye neengqiqo zokubangela ukuba ngamanye amaxesha iimvu zamagciwane ziyimfuneko, kutheni kulungile ukulwa nemfazwe. Ndidibana noMichel Walzer ngokumemeza ngokukhawuleza, indoda eyabhala ukuqoqwa kwezinto zonke njengemfazwe nje.

Kodwa, kwinqanaba elinzulu elingenanto engqondweni yam, ifilimu yasebenza kum.

Ngokukhawuleza, phakathi kwefilimu ndagula kakhulu kwimeko yokuhlanza. Ndagijimela kwigumbi lokunyamekela mna kodwa endaweni yokuphosa, ndaqala ukukhala.

Ndabanjwa njengento yokuba ndandingummeli wokuziphatha kwam. Andizange ndingazi kakuhle iindawo zokugcina iimvakalelo kunye nenkolelo eyayivalelwe ngaphakathi kwintsimi yam emva kweminyaka yokufunda.

Kwakuba sekufike, nangona kunjalo, kwakungabikho ukubuyela.

Ngoko ndibeka ukwenza into, nantoni na ukuphuma emjikelezweni ongapheliyo wokufa, ukubhujiswa kunye nokubulala. Ndazi ukuba kufuneka ndihambe, kwaye ubomi bekungayi kuze kube yinto efanayo.

Ndaqala ukufunda, ndafunda ukuba ndingubani, yintoni le nto inokukholelwa kuyo ngoku.

Ndaqala ukugqiba ukulungiswa komsebenzi. Ndiyitshintshe ngokupheleleyo ukuba ndifunda, yintoni endandicinga ngayo, indlela ndiyicoca ngayo ihlabathi. Yonke into endiyibambe ingcwele, isuswe kwirefri kwaye idibene phantsi.

Uxolo lwaba luyinyaniso kangangokude lwalufihliwe ngaphantsi kwemfazwe yonke into ebonakala ingenakukhutshwa. Ubumnene, iintliziyo ezivulekileyo, ukunyamekela, ukuthatha iindwendwe kunye nokufumana inkululeko yokuxhatshazwa kwaba yinto ebalulekileyo yokuziphatha. Ekubeni kwakukho iintsika zokuziphatha ngokuzilungisa, ngoku kwaye kwaqhaqhazela. Kwaye ukuba ukhangele ngokukhawuleza, unokubona ukhula kunye nengca yobomi obutsha.

Emva kweminyaka emibini yokuncenga, ukulinda, nokwenza ukuba ndibonise umsebenzi wemihla ngemihla, ekugqibeleni ndakhutshwa ngokunyanisekileyo njengenqaba ngenxa kanembeza ngo-Agasti walo nyaka.

Ngoku ndisebenza kwiCommunity Love Coalition. Siyinhlangano yentlalo yokuthula eyenza ukujoyina imigudu yokuvuselela izinto zokuthula zibe yinto yokuvuselela intlalo. Umyalezo wethu ukubonisa, ukuphulaphula, nokuphuma kwindlela. Siyathanda kuqala, kubuza imibuzo kamva kwaye andesabi ukuhamba emva kweendlela ezibizwa ngokuba yiintshaba. Uninzi lomsebenzi wethu ugxininise e-Iraq naseSiriya ngeli xesha, kwaye ndisebenza kwiqela leenkxaso-mali.

Ndingenanto inenhlanhla ukuba ndifumene intlangano endiyifaneleyo ngokugqibeleleyo, kwaye ndinombulelo ngakumbi ukuba ndivuke yonke imihla yokuthula-ngakumbi kwimimandla apho ndaye ndaqeqeshwa khona ukulwa!

Ndabelana ngeli bali kuba ngaphesheya kobomi, i-ego etshatyalaliswe yintando kunye nemfesane yinto endiyishiyile. Ndiyathemba ukuba njengabafileyo kunye nendawo engcwatyelwe ngayo umthi womthiki, unokwenza olunye usuku lube lude kwihlathi loxolo. Le mbewu inokutyala yonke indawo ngoku (enyanisweni ndingomnye wabanikeli benkolo ngenxa yezandla zam eNtshona Point!)

Injongo yam ayizange iguqule ukucinga komntu okanye ukuba abanye bavumelane nam. Kunoko, ndiyathemba ukuba xa ndixelela ibali lam i-veterans of pacifism bayakhuthazwa, abo bazama uxolo imihla ngemihla baqinisekiswa, kwaye abo bazibuza ukuba ngubani ohlala kwi-cusp yokuzalwa ngokutsha unokuba neqabane elithile kolunye u lonwabo, uhambo olukrakra.

Kwihlabathi Elinoxolo Thina Sonke Siyazi ukuba Kunokwenzeka,

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