Kwiminyaka engama-20 kamva: Izivumo Zomntu Oyekile Ukuyeka ukusebenza ngenxa yesazela

nguAlexandria Shaner, World BEYOND War, Matshi 26, 2023

Sekuyiminyaka eyi-20 ukususela ekuxokeni kunye nokunyanzeliswa okukhokelela ekuhlaselweni kwe-US e-Iraq ngo-2003. Ndiza kuguqula iminyaka engama-37 kwaye yandibetha: ezo ziganeko kwiminyaka eyi-20 edlulileyo yindlela endaqala ngayo uhambo lwam lwezopolitiko, nangona ndingazange ndiyenze. uyazi ngelo xesha. Njenge itshantliziyo elinenkqubela, umntu akakhokeleli ngokulula ngokuthi: “Njengokuba ndandikwishumi elivisayo, ndajoyina iMarines”… kodwa ndangena.

Ekudibaneni kobomi bam njengomntwana wesikolo samabanga aphakamileyo ehlala ngaphandle kwe-NYC ngexesha le-9/11 kunye nokuhlasela okwalandelayo kwe-Afghanistan, kunye nobomi bam njengoMgqatswa weGosa leMarine Corps kwiminyaka yokuqala yemfazwe yase-US e-Iraq, ndasungula ngokungazi. ukuze ndiyeke. Kuthathe ixesha, kodwa ekugqibeleni ndiyakwazi ukuzichaza ngelo gama, ukuyeka, ngokuzihlonipha. Andingomakhwekhwetha, kwaye andingomntu ungafuniyo ukuya emkhosini ngenxa yesazela sam ngokusesikweni – mhlawumbi ndayeka ukuya emkhosini ngenxa yesazela sam. Andizange ndityikitye kumgca onamachaphaza wekhomishini kwaye andizange ndigwetywe yinkundla yamatyala okanye ndivalelwe entolongweni ngenxa yokuvukela kwam. Kwakungeyomfuneko ukuba ndibaleke ndiye kuzimela. Andizange ndiye emfazweni. Kodwa ndiye ndafumana ukuqonda koko amajoni ahlangabezana nako nakuqondayo, noko angavumelekanga ukuba akuqonde.

Xa ndandineminyaka eli-17 ubudala, ndafaka isicelo sokufunda eyunivesithi yaseMarine Corps yaye andizange ndisifumane. Ndaphulukana nomfana owathi ekugqibeleni waba ngumhlobo othandekayo ngexesha loqeqesho. Njengam, wayekrelekrele, eqhuba, eyinjuze yeembaleki, yaye enomnqweno wokwenza konke okusemandleni akhe ukwenza ihlabathi libe yindawo engcono. Ngokungafaniyo nam, wayeyindoda, eyakhiwe njengetanki yaseMelika yonke, esele ishukuma phezulu kwaye iqinile, kwaye inoyise owayenguMkhosi waseLwandle ohonjisiweyo. Kulungile, ngendiyibonile loo nto izayo. Kuyo yonke imbonakalo, bendiyinto ehlekisayo ye-110 lbs. weenjongo ezintle kusapho lwezifundiswa. Andizange ndivume ukwaliwa kokuqala kwaye ndabonisa eVirginia kunjalo, ndaqalisa uqeqesho, ndaphumelela 'iveki yesihogo', kwaye ndanyanzeliswa indlela yam kwi-Marine Officer Candidate track kwiYunivesithi yaseVirginia yenkqubo yeROTC yokufunda ubudlelwane bamazwe ngamazwe kunye nesiArabhu.

Ndandicinga ukuba ndiqalisa indlela enkulu yobuntu kunye neyobufazi apho ndandiza kunceda ukukhulula abantu base-Afghan nase-Iraqi, ngakumbi abafazi, kwingcinezelo yenkolo kunye neyolawulo, kunye nokunceda ukungqina ekhaya ukuba abafazi bangenza nantoni na amadoda. Amajoni aseMarines ayemalunga ne-2% yabasetyhini ngelo xesha, eyona pesenti iphantsi yamalungu enkonzo yabasetyhini kuwo onke amasebe omkhosi wase-US, kwaye yayisisiqalo nje sokuvunyelwa kwabasetyhini kwiindima zokulwa. Ngaba ulahlekile? Ngokuqinisekileyo. Iinjongo ezimbi? Hayi. Ndandinamaphupha okukhenketha nokukhenketha kwaye mhlawumbi ndide ndizibonakalise, njengaye nawuphi na umntu oselula.

Kunyaka wokuqala, ndafunda ngokwaneleyo ukuba ndiqalise ukubuza imibuzo. I-UVA ayaziwa ngenkqubo yayo enkulu, ngokuchaseneyo. Yinto esisiseko kwi-DC/Northern Virginia ukusekwa. Ndiphumelele isidanga kwi-International Relations kwaye andizange ndifunde uChomsky, uZinn, okanye uGaleano - ndingawazi namagama abo. Nokuba, ingqondo yam yokufikisa ngandlel' ithile yabona ingqiqo eyaneleyo engazange ibambe, kunye nee-equations ezingadibaniyo, ukubuza imibuzo. Le mibuzo yaqalisa ukukrazula, kwaye andizange ndikwazi ukuyixolelanisa ngokuthetha noontanga okanye oonjingalwazi beROTC, nto leyo eyandikhokelela ekubeni ekugqibeleni ndibuze kumphathi wecandelo lam ngokuthe ngqo malunga nomgaqo-siseko wamaphulo omkhosi waseMelika eIraq.

Ndiye ndanikwa intlanganiso yabucala kwi-ofisi kaMajoro ndaza ndanikwa nemvume yokuthetha ngomcimbi wam. Ndaqala ngokuthi njengabagqatswa begosa, safundiswa ukuba xa sithunyiwe, siya kwenza isifungo sokuthobela nokunikela imiyalelo ngothotho lomyalelo nokuthobela uMgaqo-siseko waseUnited States. Le yayiyingcamango yolwakhiwo ebesilindeleke, ubuncinane ngokwethiyori, ukuba siyiqonde kwaye siyifake ngaphakathi. Ndabuza ke uMajoro ukuba ndingenza njani na njengegosa elixhasa uMgaqo-siseko, ndiyalele abanye ukuba babulale baze babulawe ngenxa yemfazwe echasene nomgaqo-siseko? Kwakulixesha lokugqibela ndingaphakathi kwisakhiwo seROTC. Khange bandicele nokuba ndibuye bazokundifaka iibhutsi negiya.

Incoko yaqalisa ngokunyaniseka, ifuna iimpendulo kwizinto ezingaphendulekiyo, ngokukhawuleza yaphumela ekubeni ndithule kwaye “ndisuswe ekuvunyelwene ngayo” kucwangciso. Ngokukhawuleza emva kokushiya ubukhosi bomlomo wam, umbuzo wam waguqulelwa ekubeni "ukuyeka". Ubhedu lweyunithi mhlawumbi luvavanye ukuba kuya kuba ngcono ukundithumela ukuba ndihambe ngokukhawuleza, kunokuba ndizame ukundigcina de ndibe yingxaki enkulu kamva. Ngokucacileyo yayingengowaseLwandle wokuqala onemibuzo engalunganga. Njengoko u-Erik Edstrom esitsho, I-Un-American: Ukubalwa kwejoni leMfazwe yethu ende kakhulu, “Ndafundiswa ukucinga ngendlela yokuphumelela inxalenye yam encinane emfazweni, kungekhona enoba sifanele sibe semfazweni.”

Ukukhokelela kwincoko yam no-Majoro, bendikhe ndaxambulisana neengxaki zokuziphatha ngaphaya komgaqo-siseko malunga nenyaniso yemfazwe, inyaniso engazange ivele kum ngokupheleleyo ngaphambi kokuqeqeshwa. Iinkcukacha zobuchwephesha zaziyindlela endiye ndakwazi ngayo ukubamba into ebambekayo ukuyilungisa – ngokwemigaqo yomthetho. Nangona ukuziphatha kwakusembindini wonxunguphalo lwam, ndandiqinisekile ukuba ukuba ndandicele ukuthetha nomphathi wethu ndaza ndamxelela ukuba amaphulo oMbindi Mpuma ayebonakala ephosakele, kwaye ephosakele ngokweqhinga ukuba injongo ngokwenene yayikukukhuthaza idemokhrasi nenkululeko kumazwe angaphandle. , ngendigxothwe ngokulula kwaye ndixelelwe ukuba ndiye kufunda injengele yaseRoma ethi “ukuba ufuna uxolo, lungiselela imfazwe”.

Yaye xa ndithetha inyani, ndandingekaqinisekanga ngokupheleleyo ukuba ndandichanile ngokuthandabuza kwam. Ndandibahlonela kakhulu oontanga bam kule nkqubo, ababebonakala ngathi bonke basakholelwa ukuba basendleleni yenkonzo eluntwini. Umsantsa osemthethweni wokuthobela umgaqo-siseko, nangona wawungabalulekanga, wawuyinto nje endandinokuyitshixa ngobulumko obusengqiqweni ndize ndibambelele kwimipu yam. Yayiyindlela yam yokuphuma, zombini ngokwengqiqo yobugcisa kunye noko ndandikwazi ukuzixelela. Xa ndijonga emva ngoku, kufuneka ndizikhumbuze ukuba ndandineminyaka eli-18 ubudala, ndijongene ne-USMC Major engaphezulu kwenxalenye, ndithetha ngokuchasene nenyani eyamkelekileyo yabo bonke abahlobo bam kunye noluntu, ngokuchasene nemvumelwano eqhelekileyo yelizwe lam, kunye ngokuchasene nelizwe lam. ingqiqo yakhe yenjongo kunye nobuwena.

Enyanisweni, ndiye ndaqonda ukuba bendiphantsi kwenkohliso ehlekisayo yokuba ukuba ndifunde ulwimi nenkcubeko, ndingatshayela ndiye kwelinye ilizwe njengefilimu yegosa lezobukrelekrele bomntu kwaye ndifumane "ababi" abambalwa ekufuneka benjalo. ukubamba abantu babo kwingcinga yobufundamentali, beyisela abantu ukuba sikwicala labo (kwicala “lenkululeko”), nokuba baya kudibana nathi, abahlobo babo abatsha baseMelika, ekugxotheni abacinezeli babo. Khange ndicinge ukuba kuya kuba lula, kodwa ngenkalipho eyaneleyo, ukuzinikela, kunye nesakhono mhlawumbi ndibe ngomnye wabo “Bambalwa, Abazidlayo”, ekufuneka bevukele umngeni, kuba ndinako. Kwaba ngathi ngumsebenzi.

Ndandingesosibhanxa. Ndandikwishumi elivisayo, ndicinga ngokuzalelwa kwilungelo elilinganiselweyo nomnqweno wokwenza ihlabathi libe yindawo ebhetele, ukubeka inkonzo kwindawo yokuqala. Ndabhala iingxelo zeencwadi malunga ne-FDR kunye nokudalwa kwe-UN njengomntwana kwaye ndandithandana nombono woluntu lwehlabathi kunye neenkcubeko ezininzi ezihlala ngoxolo. Ndandifuna ukulandela loo mbono ngesenzo.

Nam ndandingengomlandeli. Andiveli kwintsapho yasemkhosini. Ukuthelela iiMarines kwaba yimvukelo; ukuzimela kwam kwasebuntwaneni kunye nokuba "ndinamandla kakhulu kwintombazana", ngenxa yesidingo sokuzibonakalisa, kunye nokuzichaza. Yayiluvukelo ngokuchasene nohanahaniso olunenkungu kodwa olucaphukisayo endaluvayo phakathi kwendawo yam ekhululekileyo, ekumgangatho ophakathi. Ukususela ngaphambi kokuba ndikhumbule, imvakalelo yokungabikho kokusesikweni egqugqisayo yangena kwihlabathi lam kwaye ndandifuna ukujongana nayo ngokuthe ngqo. Kwaye ndayithanda kancinci ingozi.

Ekugqibeleni, njengamaMerika amaninzi, ndandilixhoba lentengiso ebuhlungu eyandishukumisela ukuba ndikholelwe ukuba ukuba nguMkhosi waseLwandle yeyona ndlela ilungileyo nehloniphekileyo yokungena kwihlabathi njengamandla okwenza okulungileyo. Isithethe sethu somkhosi sandikhokelela ekubeni ndifune ukukhonza, ndingavunyelwa ukuba ndibuze ukuba ndandikhonza bani okanye ngasiphi na isiphelo. Urhulumente wethu wandicela ukuba ndizinikele ngokupheleleyo kunye nentembeko emfamekileyo kwaye akandinikanga nyaniso. Ndandizimisele ukunceda abantu kangangokuba ayizange ithi qatha kum into yokuba amajoni asetyenziselwa ukwenzakalisa abantu egameni likarhulumente. Njengenkoliso yabakwishumi elivisayo, ndandicinga ukuba ndisisilumko, kodwa ngeendlela ezininzi ndandisengumntwana. Okuqhelekileyo, ngokwenene.

Kwezo nyanga zokuqala zoqeqesho, ndandixabene kakhulu. Ukubuza kwakungavakali nje ngokuchasene nentlalontle, kodwa ngokuchasene neyam ingqolowa. Ukuzola kwe-anticlimactic endithe ngenye imini ndavusa uMviwa weGosa emva koko ndalala ngequbuliso hayi-akukho nto-yayiyeyona nto imangalisayo. Bekunokuba lula ukuba bekukho umlo, ugqabhuko-dubulo okanye umzabalazo wokuthethelela isiphithiphithi sangaphakathi sokuwa kwesazisi kunye nokulahleka koluntu. Ndandinentloni zokuba "ndiyeka". Ndandingazange ndiyeke nto ebomini bam. Ndandingumfundi othe ngqo, imbaleki ekwinqanaba le-Olimpiki, ndaphumelela kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo kwisiqingatha sonyaka, kwaye ndandisele ndizihlalele kwaye ndizihambela. Kwanele ukuba ndithi, ndandikwishumi elivisayo elibukhali, elinebhongo, ukuba mhlawumbi ndinentloko elukhuni. Ukuziva ndiligwala kubantu endandibahlonela kakhulu kwakundothusa. Ukungabi nanjongo ekhuthaza uloyiko nentlonipho kwavakala ngathi kuyanyamalala.

Ngendlela enzulu, elusizi, ndandisazi ukuba ukuyeka kwakufanelekile. Emva koko, ndandisoloko ndihlebezela i-mantra eyimfihlo kum, "awuzange uyeke unobangela, unobangela uyekile". Kuya kuba bubuxoki ukuthi bendizithembile okanye ndicace gca ngale freyim. Ndayithetha ngokuvakalayo kanye kubazali bam ngamnye xa ndichaza isizathu sokuba ndishiye iMarines, kwaye akukho mntu wumbi ixesha elide kakhulu.

Andizange ndixoxe esidlangalaleni ngamava am nomkhosi ngaphambili, nangona sele ndiqalisile ukwabelana ngawo kwiincoko apho ndicinga ukuba luncedo. Ukuthetha no amagqala kunye namatshantliziyo angavumiyo ukuya emkhosini ngenxa yezazela kunye kunye Russian refuseniks, kwaye ngoku ishicilelwe apha, ndiye ndanikezela ngebali lam ngeenzame zokunceda ukungqina ukuba ngamanye amaxesha ukwala ukulwa lelona nyathelo likhaliphile nelisebenzayo umntu anokulithatha ukuze kubekho uxolo nobulungisa. Asiyondlela yegwala elizingcayo, njengoko ibutho labantu lidla ngokugweba. Kanye njengokuba kukho imbeko nembeko kwimisebenzi yenkonzo, kukho intlonipho nembeko kwisenzo sokugatya imfazwe yokungekho sikweni.

Ndakha ndanengcamango eyahluke ngokupheleleyo yokuba kuthethwa yintoni ngokuqhelisela ukukhonza injongo yobulungisa, yokulwela amalungelo amabhinqa, kwanakwihlabathi lonke noxolo. Indikhumbuza ukuba ndingabi ngabagwebi okanye bahlukane nabantu abaneembono ezahlukeneyo zehlabathi, kuba ndiyazi ngokwam ukuba nangona sicinga ukuba sisenza ukuba ihlabathi libe yindawo engcono, ukuba ukuqonda kwethu indlela ihlabathi elisebenza ngayo kufihlakele kakhulu, thina. izakuthatha iintshukumo ezahlukeneyo kakhulu ekusukeleni amaxabiso afanayo. Kuninzi uluntu lwaseMelika olunalo ilungelo lokungafundi, kwaye luhlobo olutsha lomsebenzi kunye nenkonzo nceda ukuba kwenzeke.

Iminyaka engama-20 kunye nezifundo ezininzi ezinzima emva koko, ndiyaqonda ukuba eli xesha ebomini bam landinceda ukuba ndibeke indlela yokuqhubeka nokubuza ukuba ihlabathi lisebenza njani, ndingoyiki ukuya ngokuchasene nengqolowa, phuthuma inyaniso, ubucekise ubugqwetha nokuba kwaye ingakumbi xa ipeyintwe njengesiqhelo okanye engenakuthintelwa, kwaye ukujonga iindlela ezingcono. Ukuthemba amathumbu am, hayi iTV.