NaWilliam Thomas, USNR (Yakasunungurwa) yeHerman Pure Dhipatimendi
Gunyana 11, 2018.
CHIMANGIRO! ITSVA IYI INOGONA KUZIVISA MAZVIMBO KUTI VADZIDZI VEMURIMI (NEMUKUMBI) VANOFANIRA KUTI VADZIDZIRE
Mhoro! [purinda zita rakazara remutengi zvakajeka pano]
Hongu, iwe wakafungidzira zvakarurama. Kana iwe uchida ku:
kurambana pasina murume / kuramba mwanakomana upenzi [chengeta]
Hondo Dhiyabhorosi Dhipatimendi inofara kukuzivisa iwe kuti haufaniri kufunga nezvekuita basa rakaipa zvakadaro, rinokosha nokuti munhu ari mubvunzo haasisiri mubvunzo, asi wakafa zvikuru.
Kana ukatotadza, usasvinura cigar box iri pamwe chete nezvose zvakasara mushure mekunge:
[nyora zita uye ratidza zvakajeka pano]
yakanga yakasvibiswa ne shrapnel isina kufungidzirwa kubudiswa kubva kune BFG * [ona gasi riri pasi apa] pachidimbu-chisina kubhururuka apo pachitora chikamu muhombamamie kukwira kumusoro kwepamusoro pakasununguka maziso mukuvhenekera kwezuva kunzvimbo yakasimba yakasimba yakagadziriswa nevanogara vagari uye vanovhiringidzika avo vanofarira kufa kudzivirira mhuri dzavo, zvitendero, dzimba uye dzinza nemhando dzakawanda dzezvombo zveUnited States uye zvombo, zvokudya zvekumba-kumba, varume vatsvene uye zvisingaverengeki, kunyange kutsamwa kunowedzera pedyo neWDC.
Pasina kuyedzwa kwekudyidzana, kana kutoteerera zvichemo zviri pamutemo zve "vatorwa" vemunharaunda vane mutauro watisingataure netsika nemagariro edu ane zero chishuwo chekuremekedza kana kunzwisisa, basa rakaparadzwa iri raida kuzadzikiswa futi chimwe chinangwa chisina basa Kukosha kwemauto kwaisakwanisa kubatwa kana kugarwa kwenguva yakareba kupfuura gumi nemashanu-maminitsi kunyangwe ikatorwa, nekuti yakaderera kunyoreswa mitengo yaireva kuti vanofamba vakakuvadzwa vaidikanwa kurwisa mumwe musangano weupenzi.
Iva nechokwadi chokuti sezvo isu tichiedza kuita mari yakawanda uye vavengi, pachava neimwe gomo, dongo, mafuta akanaka kana guta kune avo vanodiwa vemhuri kuti varasikirwa nazvo:
- maoko
- makumbo
- ushingi
- nzungu
- uso
- Musoro
- pfungwa
- upenyu
[chengeta imwe kana kupfuura]
pamusoro.
The rose debaclé yakasvibiswa mumushumo wepamutemo wehondo wakataurwa pamusoro apa wakarairwa nemukuru akadzidziswa sa "maneja mukuru" ane hunyanzvi hwekomputa hwakagadziridzwa uye asina ruzivo rweFrance. Kuitwa kwayo - hakuna rimwe izwi - kwakauya kuburikidza neanozvikudza lieutenant colonel kutsvaga mubhadharo, maricho uye kudzivirirwa kwakazara colonelcy. Kunyangwe hazvo, sezvo iwe zvaunenge pasina mubvunzo uchifunga, uyu mukuru akange atotaurwa nenzira kwayo sa: "Colonel". (Zvakare, asingazivi bastard, mbeveve fuck, fucking idiot, jackass, colonel moonbeam, nezvimwewo)
Iwe unozonyaradzwa kuziva kuti uyu asingatore-kuraira mukuru akanyatso kuona zvakawanda nezve nzira dzevacheche kubva kuFUBAR yake yazvino yaakange asina kumbofunga nezvayo. Aka kupihwa basa rekuverengazve, Chii-kwete-Kuita Pane Zvimwe Zvimwe Zvakaipisisa Zvimwe Zvinozorodza. Asi mushure mekunge mazadza mutsindo wakaoma wakanyorwa Dick, Jane & Spot Kurume Mune Iyo Huru Paradhiso.
(Kana izvi zvisinganzwisisiki kwauri, usabatana neuto.)
Kwese uko kune bhutsu pasi, vanhuwo zvavo vanofa uye masaga emuviri nemaamburenzi nendege dzakatakura zvikamu zvevanhu zvinouya kumba. Kana iwe uchishuva kunzwa rumwe ruzivo rwemu mukuru uyu:
kurumbidzwa / mareji-zvehondo [chengetedza chaunosarudza]
murume uyo akawana yako
murume / mwanakomana [check one]
akaurayiwa, akapona pakusaziva kwake nekugara zvakanaka kumashure. Kwete yenzvimbo yehondo, asi iyo yese AO.
Uye yup, iyi yegoridhe-yakagadzirwa, goldbricking REMF akaita mugamuchire mutsva wake wakatsvaga-wekunyorwa-yehondo. Akambotorwa kusvika kune General Staff kuti abatsire "kuronga" zvimwe zvezviito izvi muhupenzi husingabatsiri sezvinosimbisa zvakasara kuti amuchengetedze kuti asabviswe kubva pazvikwata-kusvika-lasagna nevanopona vasati vemauto ake-kwenguva refu. Kugumburwa kunoramba kuri dambudziko.
Mukuwedzera - uye hondo yose iri pamusoro pematunhu - tapota tora zvimwe:
kuzvikudza / kunyaradza [chengeta zvose kana kuti hapana]
mukuziva zvakadzika mumoyo mako unonyura kuti ichi chisingaregi chinoparadza matomu, matérieri, mhuri dzisina mhosva, zvivakwa zveveruzhinji, hupfumi hwenyika, nharaunda dzezvakatipoteredza, kugunun'una mbeveve uye kufarira zvakanaka kuri kuita mabhangi makuru, vagadziri vezvombo uye mamwe maseneta zvakanyanya, kwazvo, anofara kwazvo.
Sei iwe uchifunga kuti tinoramba tichiita izvi?
Kana iwe usiri WAKAPA kurambana murume wako akafa kana kuti kuramba mwana wako akadzingwa, ndapota rangirira pamaoko edu-wringing kuzvidemba kuti iwe neshamwari yako yehupfumi-uye-tsika yakakundikana kuona kuburikidza nemiti yose yekufambisa, kutamba hooh-rah! kuti majaya nemadzitateguru vanovhura huduku hwavo nevaperekedzi uye mabvi avo-mapoka emhuri ndivo vanonyangadza.
Kana kuti zvichida nekuda kwekushayikwa kwezvimwe zvose zvinotarisirwa, aingoda zvitatu-zvikwereti, iyo ibhonasi yakakura yekusayina, uye kubhadharwa kwemwedzi pamwedzi (kusabviswa zvishoma). Kwemazuva ose aakaramba ari mupenyu.
Asi pane iyo.
Uye zvakadaro.
Kana pane chimwe chinhu chatinogona kuita kuti tiite hupenyu hwako
kunyange kufara / kudarika kuzviuraya [chengeta imwe]
ndapota findura mubvunzo wakanyorera kubhorosi rekudzosa rakabviswa muvupurupu iyi. Hatingapinduri mhinduro yako nokuti hatisati tada kuva nechokuita nemunhu anotaurwa pano, uyo akaroorwa kubva mumapumburu edu. Asi iwe chido kunzwa zviri nani pakuratidza yako
kuonga kuchema / kupisa zvinoda kubhadharwa [chengeta imwe]
Kana iwe uchizunza envelopu yakasimudza musoro uchitsvaga mari, usazvinetse. Tiri kushandisa bhajeti rega rega remadhora-emadhora atinogona kukwereta kubva kumabhangi ataurwa pamusoro apa nezvizvarwa zvako kuti vafuridzire kuzviparira hutsinye, masystem anodhura anopenga asingashande, kuongororwa kwese kwemisha, Hollywood uye network "programming" uye midzanga mabhokisi.
Kufanana neyedu 7 zviri pamutemo-dzakapetwa-kuhondo dzazvino muAfghanistan, Iraq, Syria, Yemen, Libya, Somalia neNiger, tsamba iyi yaenda kwenguva yakareba zvakakwana. Isu tinoziva kuti iwe wakabatikana nemabasa epamba uye chii, saka tichamira pano. Kungofanana neyako:
murume / mwanakomana [check one]
vakamira uko.
Rombo rakanaka! Kubva kwatiri tese takagara takakora uye tichinyemwerera kuseri kwedesiki rakasimba kure nechero kunhuwirira kunofurwa nenhandare yehondo uye nharaunda yemumwe munhu kuurayiwa, tinotenda zvakare nekugovana:
mwanakomana wako / murume
[ndapota cherekedza kurongedza-kwakadzoserwa uye tarisa bhokisi rimwe chete, kunze kwekunge uchibva kutsvuku nyika]
Izvi ndizvo zvinoitika apo nyika isingaiti zvatinorayira kuti vaite.
Signed,
US
PS Kana dai waiva mudzimai wako kana kuti mwanasikana waive asingadi "kuparadzwa" kune imwe nzvimbo shithole hapana anogona kududzira, une akagamuchira tsamba isina kururama. Ndapota uzadze fomu FU-BAR 37340982OX mumakumi mana uye kutumira kune: Dept. Hondo Yese, Misogyny For Runyararo, WASH. (Washed-Our-Hands-of-It), DC
Pane cheerier note, fara iwe hauna kunyanya kutarisira munhu akaremara kana kuti akaoma mwoyo mutezo wemhuri kusvikira ivo vakagumburwa nemarwadzo avo anotyisa, kana pakupedzisira kugumisa kubatana kwako kwemazuva nekutevera zvinopfuura 20 veterans avo vave vachizviuraya nguva yose ye24 kubvira patinotanga kunakidzwa nekushamiswa mune gorofu Gulf kare kumashure mu 1990-91.
Tsigira Vashumiri Vedu!
(Kuda nyika nekuzvipira kwatinoita pasina kunyadzisa kukurudzira nekushandisa.)
GLOSSARY HASINA KUZIVA MUZVIRI ZVIRI MILITARY MANUALS
Heino Gwaro Guru reMasoja Jargon (MPJ):
AO - Chikamu chekushanda
BFG - Big Fucking Gun
muviri count - masoja anochengeta mamaki kuti aone kuti ndiani "anokunda" (ona "vanhuwo zvavo")
civilians - zvitunha zvisati zviri muunifomu kana zvezera remakore, zvakare avo vanoremara (makore ose)
rusununguko rwehupfumi - (kwete-machena) maguta akakomberedzwa
CONUS - Continental United States
kuputsika - kusavhiringidzika kunokwidza kukanganisa grenades mumatende evakuru
FUBAR - Yakasimudzwa Pamusoro Pose Kupera
PTSD - kushungurudzika kwakakomba kudzivirira vana kutamba kunze kune droned nzvimbo
REMF - Rear Echelon Motherfucker
shrapnel - zvipfeko zvinoputika zvakapetwa nesimbi yakatsvuka, mabheti ebheti, mabhodhoro akaputsika, jagged rebar, guruva remhepo kubva pane zvakadhindwa DU munitions, makamera feces, nezvimwewo.
urban renewal - term yemabhangi nekuda kwekunyangadza, uyezve kuvaka WDCs.
WDC - Yese Damn Nyika
HONDO HASINGABATSIRA
Tora-Kure "Bullet" Pfungwa dzeVatsva Vatsva:
* 7 inopfuurira hondo dzeU.SA muna 2018.
* Mune 201 USA-yakakonzera mhirizhonga kubva kuWWII, 90% yevakafa vese mu "hondo" ndivo civilians.
* Maindasitiri-masimba akauraya vanhu ne "US" atora hupenyu hunopfuura miriyoni imwe, uye akaremadza nekusiya dzimba dzakawanda, dzakawanda dzimwe mhuri mumakore gumi nemanomwe apfuura. Kwete kuverenga iyo 2-3 mamiriyoni evanhu vakafa kubva kune imwe nzvimbo-inonzi "Hondo yeAmerica" muVietnam, Cambodia neLaos, uye inopfuurira mushure mekuputika kwemapurisa uye chibereko-warping Agent Orange dioxin yakasvibiswa nekuumbwa kwemauto makuru emotokari kune dzimwe nyika. (Nenzira yakawanda yakaputika muKen Burns 'yakasununguka-yakanyatsogadziriswazve yezvekare.) Dioxin ndiyo yepiri yakafa inowanikwa mumunhu pashure peputonium.
Cherechedza: Iraq, Afghanistan neGaza zvakaponeswa Agent Orange. Pane kudaro, nzvimbo idzi dziri kunyanya kupfumiswa nekuramba dzichibuda mumhepo uye isina kubviswa uranium ("tsvina bhomba") zvinyorwa. Usaita pamuviri!
* Kana ukagara muCONUS uye uchitenda iwe unozviita kwete rarama munharaunda ine varwi, yakasimbiswa 24/7 nemifananidzo yevakakanganiswa-yakashongedzwa, kurudziro yezvematongerwo enyika "kuuraya" vanhu vazhinji vasina kufanana nesu kazhinji, uye kusangana nevashandi vakapfeka yunifomu kuti vasazofunga nezvehunhu uhwu husina kuenzana kana husina kujairika, ndapota enda unotaura newe. Asi kwete pamberi pako…
* Batsira varombo vemabhangi uye avo emakambani-ezvematongerwo enyika vanotsigira "zvehondo" zvechigarire nekubatana nhasi! Rangarira, nzira chete yekukunda vanhu vakagumbuka vachirwira dzimba dzavo - uye mhuri dzisina kusiyana nedzako - ndudzi!
Kuti uwane zvimwe pane iyo "yakabudirira" yepasirese con con, ndapota ona:
Munamato weHondo uye Gross Kuzvinyengera Kwehondo - zvinyorwa zvishomanana na Mark Twain (uye munoziva kuti anogona kunyora)
Hondo Ndeye Raketi neU.SC General Smedley Butler. (Tarisa 9-miniti YouTube.)
Hondo Isimba Rinotipa Zvinoreva naChris Hedges
Akapindwa Muhondo Kuhondo (comic book)
"Nei Tichirwisana" (DVD)
KUBVA KUMUNYORI:
Ndinoremekedza ushingi uye ndinopokana nekutongwa kwevaya vanobatanidzwa mukushungurudzika kwenyika yedu kune avo vasina kufanira vavengi vedu zvinotyisa zvatinoramba tichiita uye kupisa moto kunokonzera kupisa-kubudisa. Kubata kana kubvisa zvachose maoko mashoma evanhu vanopika neine nzira yekuita kukurumidza kutsiva muCONUS haina chikonzero chedu chekuponda kuuraya vana uye kuyera maguta ese seFallujah, Mosul neAlleppo. Uye nyika dzese dzakadai seNorth Korea, panguva yechiitiko chekutanga pakudenha-uye-kupindura iyo "yakakwidibira marara" mumazwi eiyo WWII firebombing-copycat, General (Nuke 'em All) LeMay.
Ini ndinobvumidzwa kunongedzera "red states" nekuti hukama hweTennessee hwakarwa navo vakatadza maYankees paChicamauga ridge. Uye akapfurwa nekuda kwekuzvidzivirira kwake kusinga tsanangurike.
Muna 1970, ndakasiya basa randakanga ndatsvaga kwenguva refu muUS Navy Reserves pamusoro pekuurayiwa kwevanhu muVietnam uye nekuenderera mberi kwekutadza kwaMutungamiriri-In-Chief wangu. Ini ndakazoshanda pamwe nevarume vatatu vezvakatipoteredza yekupindura timu yekuSaudi Arabia neKuwait panguva uye nekukurumidza mushure meinotyisa Desert Dutu.
Handizokurumidza kukanganwa minda yemafuta inopfuta, kana kunzwa kwekufamba nevanoshamwaridzana neni kuburikidza ne creosoted minefields uye pamwe neKwayendesa kweKuedza kuedza kununura makungwa engarava anobva kumaAfrica. Izvi zvakaitika kwandiri vakandidzidzisa kuti hondo yemazuva ano ndeye kwete bhidhiyo, apo munhu wose ane nguva huru uye anoenda kumba akanyatsogumira pakupedzisira.
William Thomas
