Ndove Sei Ndave Mumiririri Worugare

NaDavid Swanson

Pandakanga ndichidzidzisa ini kuti ndinyore sei, pandakanga ndiri pamusoro pe 20 kusvika ku25, ndakabvisa (uye ndikadzinga kunze) marudzi ose e autobiographies. Ndakanyora mazita ekuremekedza. Ini ndakafungidzira shamwari dzangu nevazivana navo. Ndichiri kunyora mazamu nguva dzose mumunhu wokutanga. Ndakanyora bhuku revana mumakore achangopfuura iyo yaiva nhema asi yakaisanganisira mwanakomana wangu wedangwe nemunun'una wangu nemwana wangu sevanhurume. Asi ini handina kubata autobiography mumakore akawanda kupfuura ini ndakanga ndiri mupenyu apo ndaiwanzoita mariri.

Ndakabvunzwa kazhinji kuti ndinyore zvitsauko zvebhuku pamusoro pe "sei ndakagadzirisa runyararo." Mune zvimwe zviitiko, ndakangokumbira ruregerero ndokuti handikwanise. Kune rimwe bhuku rainzi Sei Rugare, rakagadziridzwa naMarc Guttman, ndakanyora chitsauko chishomanana chinonzi "Sei Ndiri Mumiririri Worugare? Sei Handizvo? "Pfungwa yangu yainyanya kuratidza kushatirwa kwandinofanira kuita kuti munhu atsanangure kushanda kuti apedze chinhu chakaipisisa munyika, apo mamiriyoni evanhu vasingashandisi kuti apedzisire haafaniri kupa tsanangudzo yekutadza kwavo kuita.

Ndinowanzotaura mumapoka emagariro uye makorogi uye misangano pamusoro pekushandira rugare, uye ini ndinowanzobvunzwa kuti ndakaita sei mubatsiri wekuita rugare, uye ini nguva dzose ndinonyora dodge mubvunzo uyu, kwete nokuti mhinduro ndeyerefu kwenguva refu asi nokuti yakapfupika. Ini ndiri murindi wekuita rugare nokuti kuuraya-kuuraya kunotyisa. Chii chinonzi gehero iwe unorevei chikonzero nei ndiri mutori wenyika?

Ichi chinzvimbo changu chisinganzwisisiki kune zvikonzero zvakawanda. Nokuda kwechinhu chimwe, ini ndiri mutendi akasimba mukudiwa kwevamwe vanoita zvekuita rugare. Kana tikakwanisa kudzidza chimwe chinhu pamusoro pekuti vanhu vave sei vanoita zvekuita rugare, isu takanyatsonaka tinofanira kuidzidza nekushandisa zvidzidzo izvozvo. Nhamo yangu yekuti maratiro erugare anoguma sei, kunze kwekugadzira nyukireya apocalypse kuguma, ndechekuti musangano werugare unoguma apo uyo wokupedzisira wekuita rugare anowana Alzheimer's. Uye zvechokwadi ndinotya kuva iye murindidziri wekuita rugare. Uye zvechokwadi izvi zvinopenga sezvo kune vanyori vanoita zvekuita vaduku vaduku kupfuura ini, kunyanya vanoita zvematongerwo enyika kurwisana nehondo yeIsrael avo vasina kunyanya kufunga nezvehondo dzeUnited States. Asi ini handisati ndambozviwana ndiri pakati pediki kuduku muimba. Sangano rekuchengetedza rekuAmerica richiri kutungamirirwa nevanhu vakava vashandi munguva yehondo yeUnited States kuVietnam. Ndakava mutsigiri werugare kune chimwe chikonzero, kunyange kana akatungamirirwa nevaya vakwegura kupfuura ini. Kana sangano rorugare rweZ1960 raiita sechinhu chinofadza kwandiri, tinoita sei nhasi seinoita sechinhu chinofadza kune avo vasati vaberekwa? Uyu mubvunzo unobatsira unomuka munhamba zhinji kana ndava kuda kuongorora nyaya iyi.

Kune chimwe chinhu, ini ndiri mutendi akasimba musimba rezvakatipoteredza kugadzira vanhu. Handina kuberekwa kutaura Chirungu kana kufunga chero chinhu chandinofunga zvino. Ndakazviwana zvose kubva pamitambo yakandipoteredza. Asi pane imwe nguva ndagara ndichifungidzira kuti chero chii chakandiita kuti ndive murunyararo wehukama chaiva mukati mangu pakuberekwa uye hachina hanya kune vamwe. Ndakanga ndisina kumboita-hondo. Handina Sauro mumugwagwa unoenda kuDhamasiko kutendeuka nyaya. Ndaive nehutano hwemudhorobha hweUnited States hwakanaka zvikuru seavo vehama dzangu nevavakidzani, uye hapana mumwe wavo akazoguma sevevadziviriri vehondo - ini ndoga. Ndakatora zvinhu zvavanoudza mwana wese nezvekuedza kuita kuti nyika ive nzvimbo yakanakisisa. Ndakawana mitemo yeCarnegie Endowment yeRugare isingadzivisiki, kunyange zvazvo ndisina kumbobvira ndanzwa nezvechirongwa ichocho, chirongwa chisingaiti chero chiito pabasa rayo. Asi yakagadzirirwa kugadzirisa hondo, uye zvakare kuziva yechipiri-chakaipa pane zvose munyika uye kushanda kubvisa icho. Ndeipi imwe nzira iyo inofungidzika?

Asi vanhu vazhinji vanobvumirana neni pane izvozvi ndezvokuchengetedza zvakatipoteredza. Uye vazhinji vavo havatori hanya nehondo uye zvemhirizhonga seicho chikonzero chikuru chekuparadzwa kwezvakatipoteredza. Nei zvakadaro? Ndisina sei kuva mhirizhonga wezvakatipoteredza? Ko sangano rezvakatipoteredza rakakura sei kusvika kune simba rayo razvino razvitsaurirwa kugumisa zvose asi njodzi yakaipa zvikuru yemhuka?

Kana kuve murindiri wekuratidza rugare kunoita sezviri pachena kwandiri, chii muhuduku hwangu zvingadai zvakaita kuti ndiite munhu uyu? Uye kana zvichiita sezviri pachena kwandiri, sei zvakanditora kusvikira ndakanga ndiri 33 kuti ndiite? Uye chii pamusoro pechokwadi chokuti ndinosangana nevanhu nguva dzose avo vanozoshanda sevashandi vanoita zvekuita rugare apo mumwe munhu angangovapa basa iro? Heck, ndinopa vanhu iye zvino kuti vashande sevamwe vanoita rugare, asi pane 100 vashandisi kune mumwe nomumwe anoshandira. Haisi chikamu chemhinduro yekuti nei sangano rerugare rakwegura, vanhu vakasiya basa vane nguva yekushandira pasina? Uye haisi chikamu chemubvunzo wekuti ndakagadzirisa sei runyararo zvechokwadi mubvunzo wekuti ndakawana sei mumwe aigona kubhadharwa, uye sei ndakakwanisa kuva mumwe wevanhu vashomanana vanoita?

Kushamwaridzana kwangu neA1960 kwaive mwedzi yakareba, sezvandakaberekwa musi waDecember 1, 1969, pamwe chete nehanzvadzi yangu twine, muNew York City, kuvabereki vakanga vari United Church yeChristu mushumiri uye nhengo yekereke mu Ridgefield , New Jersey, uye uyo akanga asangana paUnited Theological Seminary. Vakanga vabva kumhuri yakanamatira kuWisconsin uye Delaware, mumwe oga mwana wevatatu kuti aende kure kure nemusha. Vakatsigira Kodzero dzeVanhu nehupfumi. Baba vangu vakanga vasarudza kugara muHarlem, pasinei nekudikanwa kwekudzorera nguva yake zvinhu kubva kuvanhu vakaba. Vakasiya kereke yezvechikoro uye yepanyama, vachibuda kunze kweimba iyo yakaenda nebasa racho, apo hanzvadzi yangu neni takanga tiri vaviri. Takatamira kuguta idzva mumuguta remugariro, Washington, DC, iyo yakanga ichangovakwa seyakagadzirirwa, anofamba-fambisa, akawedzerwa-utopia yakawanikwa ainzi Reston, Virginia. Vabereki vangu vakabatana neChristian Science chechi. Vakabhadharira Jesse Jackson. Vakazvipira. Vakashanda pakuva vabereki vakanakisisa vanogona, pamwe nekubudirira kumwe ndinofunga. Uye vakashanda zvakaoma mukugadzirisa hupenyu, naBaba vangu vavaka chivako chebhizimisi kuwedzera pane dzimba, uye Amai vari kuita mapepa. Gare gare, baba vangu vaizova muongorori uye amai vangu vanyorera mitsara yevaya vachatenga zvemba itsva. Vakamanikidza vavaki kugadzirisa zvikanganiso zvakawanda izvo makambani akatanga kutora muzvibvumirano zvavo zvokuti vanhu vanogona kuongorororwa nomumwe munhu kunze kwebaba vangu. Iye zvino vabereki vangu vanoshanda sevashandi vevanhu vane hanya nekushaya dambudziko, izvo Baba vangu vakazviona sevane hupenyu hwake hwose.

Ndiri kunyatsoziva kuti vanhu vazhinji vanofunga kuti Christian Science inopenga. Ndakanga ndisati ndambofungidzira, uye vabereki vangu vakadonha makumi emakore apfuura. Nenguva yokutanga ndakanzwa nezvechikonzero chekusatenda kwaMwari, ndakafunga kuti, "Hungu, hongu, hongu." Asi kana iwe uchiedza kuve nekunzwisisa wemwari asina simba uye ane hupenyu hwakanaka, iwe unofanira (1) inorambidza uye ingoita kuti irege kuve yakanzwisisika, sezvinoita vanhu vakawanda vanoona nedzimwe chitendero, kazhinji vachiramba rufu, kupemberera kuberekwa kwemhandara, nekutenda zvinhu zvemarudzi ose zvisingasviki kupesana neChikristu cheSayenzi kusanganisira kuti munhu ane simba ane simba arikusika hondo uye nzara uye zvirwere, kana (2) inogumisa kuti zvakaipa hachisipo chaizvo, uye kuti maziso ako anofanira kunge achikunyengedza, sevaKristu Scientists vanoedza kuita, nemhando dzose dzemakwikwi, kubudirira zvishomanana, nemigumisiro yakaipa, kana ( 3) kunze kwezviuru zvemakore-zvekare zvepasi pose zvakabva kune anthropomorphizing zvinhu izvo zvisingagoni kutarisirwa zvishoma.

Izvi ndizvo zvidzidzo kubva pamuenzaniso wevabereki vangu, ndinofunga: iva noushingi asi uine rupo, edza kuita kuti nyika ive nzvimbo iri nani, kutakura uye kutanga pane zvaunoda, edza kuita pfungwa dzezvinhu zvinonyanya kukosha, kuisa pfungwa uye kuedza zvakare sezvinodiwa, gara uchifara, uye ita rudo rwevana vako mberi kwezvinhu zvimwe (kusanganisira mberi kwechiKristu Science: shandisa kurapwa kana uchida zvechokwadi, uye uzvienzanise sezvinodiwa).

Mhuri yangu neshamwari dzepedyo uye mhuri yakakura yakanga isiri vehondo kana varindi vemagariro, kana imwe mhando yevashandi. Asi mhirizhonga yakanga yakapoteredza munharaunda yeDDC uye panhau. Vabereki 'Vabereki vakashandira mauto uye Veterans Administration uye sangano raisafanira kutumidzwa. Mwanasikana waOriver North aiva mukirasi yangu yekusekondari kuHerndon, uye akauya mukirasi kuti atiyevere pamusoro pekutyisidzira Kommie muNicaragua. Gare gare takamuona achipupurira nezvekukanganisa kwake pamberi peCongress. Nzwisiso yangu yezvakaipa izvi zvakanga zvishoma. Kukanganisa kwake kwakaipisisa kwakaratidzika kunge kune mari yemapurisa kune chekuchengetedza kweimba yake muGreat Falls uko shamwari dzangu dzaiva nemapapiro aipfuvura dzakagara.

Pandakanga ndiri mukirasi yechitatu, ini nehanzvadzi yangu takaedzwa mu "purogiramu ine tarenda" kana kuti GT, iyo yakanga iri mubvunzo wekuva nevabereki vakanaka uye kwete kuva mbeveve. Zvechokwadi, apo chikoro chakatipa isu miedzo, hanzvadzi yangu yakapfuura uye ini handina. Saka vabereki vangu vakawana mumwe munhu kundipa muedzo zvakare, uye ndakaipfuura. Kukirasi yechina takakwira bhazi kweawa nevana vose veGT kubva kuRe Reston. Kwechishanu nechitanhatu, takapinda chirongwa cheGT pachikoro chitsva kune rumwe rutivi rweVeton. Ndaiwanzoita kuva neshamwari dzekuchikoro uye shamwari dzekumba. Kukirasi yechinomwe takaenda kuchikoro chitsva chepakati mu Reston, apo shamwari dzangu dzekumba dzakatamira kuHerndon. Gore iroro raive, ndinofunga, zvose zvakaderedzwa kubva kudzidziso iri nani yezvikwata 4-6, uye nzvimbo inoshungurudza yehupenyu hwemwana muduku muduku. Kwegiresi rechisere ndakaedza chikoro chega, kunyange zvazvo chaiva chiKristu uye ini ndakanga ndisiri. Izvozvo zvakanga zvisina kunaka. Saka kuchikoro chesekondari ndakasangana zvakare neshamwari dzangu dzekumba kuHerndon.

Munharaunda yose iyi, mabhuku edu ezvinyorwa aive sehukama uye hwekare-hondo sezvazviri. Ndinofunga kuti yaiva yechishanu kana yechitanhatu bhizinesi iyo vamwe vana vakaita tarenda kuratidzira rwiyo rwakakurumbira makore mazhinji gare gare naSenator John McCain: "Bhomba bhomba bhomba, bhomba bhomba reIrish!" Kune avo vandinodzidza navo, pakanga kusina kutsoropodza kana kusazvidza, kwete kuti ndakanzwa. Pakanga pane, zvisinei, tsvuku mabhiyoni pamiti yevarombo vasungwa. Ndichiri mune zvangu zvakawanda zvebasa rangu rechikoro, kusanganisira mishumo inokudza vanhu saGeorge Rogers Clark. Asi iyo yaiva nharo yevarwi 'yenyaya yandakanyora, pamwe neBritain Redcoats sevadziita zvakaipa, uye zvinyorwa zvinosanganisira kuurawa kwembwa yemhuri, kuti ndinoyeuka kufambisa mashoko kubva kumudzidzisi wangu wegiredhi yechishanu kuti ini ndive munyori.

Zvandaida kuva ndezveve muumbi wekugadzirira kana kugadzira guta, muumbi we Reston ari nani, muumbi weimba asingadi kuivaka. Asi ndakapa pfungwa shomanana pane zvandinofanira kuva. Ndakanga ndisina pfungwa shoma yokuti vana nevakuru vaive mhando dzakasiyana uye kuti rimwe zuva ndaizova mumwe. Pasinei nokupinda chikoro mune imwe yenzvimbo dzakakwirira-dzakarongeka kumativi enyika, ndaifunga kuti vazhinji vavo vaiva mutoro wemuriwo. Matikiti angu akakwana akadonha zvishoma apo ini ndakapfuura chikoro chesekondari. Zvidzidzo zvakaoma zvinondinetsa. I AP (yakashambadzirwa kuiswa) makirasi ose akandidzinga uye aida basa rakawanda kupfuura randingaita. Ndaifarira mitambo, asi ndakanga ndisingakwanisi kukwikwidzana pane zvakawanda, kunze kwekudzokera kumusha mumitambo yekutora apo ndaigona kusarudzwa maererano nemukurumbira pane kuonekwa. Handina kupedza kukura kusvikira zvakanaka mushure mechikoro chesekondari, chandakapedza pa 17 mu 1987.

Kuziva kwangu mukati memakore aya ekugadzira hondo kweUnited States nekufambisa nekukurudzira-kukurudzira muLatin America kwakanga kusingabviri. Ndakanzwisisa ikoko kuva Hondo yeCold, uye Soviet Union kuti ive nzvimbo inotyisa yekurarama, asi maRussia ndainzwisisa kunge akafanana newe neni, uye Cold War pachayo kuva chizvarwa (ndizvo zvakataurwa naSting muchirongwa chake Russia). Ndakanga ndamboona mafirimu eGandhi. Ndinofunga kuti ndaiziva kuti Henry Thoreau akanga aramba kubhadhara mitero yehondo. Uye ini ndakanyatsonzwisisa kuti mumakumi matanhatu evanhu vakanakira vakanga varwisana nehondo uye vakanga vakarurama. ndaiziva The Red Badge of Courage. Ndaiziva kuti hondo yakanga yakaipa. Asi ndakanga ndisingafungi kuti chii chakadzivirira kuguma kwekuwedzera kwehondo.

Ndakanga ndine, nokuda kwezvikonzero zvipi zvese - zvakanaka kuberekera vana kana kuti zvinokanganisa genetics - zvinhu zviviri zvakakosha muhenya rangu. Chimwe chaiva kunzwisisa kunodzidziswa kuvana vazhinji munyika yose kuti chisimba chakaipa. Chimwe chaiva chido chinotyisa chekusagadzikana uye kusaremekedza zvachose simba. Saka, kana chisimba chakanga chakaipa kuvana, zvaivawo zvakaipa kune hurumende. Uye, zvakabatana neizvi, ndakanga ndiine kuzvikudza kwakakwana kana chivimbo mukukwanisa kwandaiita kuverenga zvinhu, zvishoma nezvetsika. Pamusoro peurongwa hwangu hwemhando dzaiva kuvimbika. Ruchiri rakanaka kumusoro kumusoro uko.

Hondo haina kuuya zvakawanda. Pane terevhizheni yakaratidzwa mukati MASH. Taimbova nemushanyi achishanyira kubva kunze kweguta aida chaizvo kushanyira Naval Academy kuAnapolapolis. Saka, takamutora, uye iye aida. Zuva raiva zuva. Zvikepe zvaiva kunze. The mast of the USS Maine vakamira vachizvikudza sechitubu kuhondo dzenhema, kunyange zvazvo ndakanga ndisingazivi kuti chii chaiva. Ndaingoziva kuti ndakanga ndichishanyira nzvimbo yakanaka, inofadza apo pfuma huru yakaiswa mukudzidzisa vanhu kuti vaite mukuuraya-kuuraya. Ndakatanga kurwara uye ndaifanira kurara pasi.

Izvo zvaive zvakakosha zvikuru, ndinofunga, pane zvandinoona nezvematongerwo enyika, yakanga iri kuenda kune imwe nyika kunze. Ndakanga ndine wechiLatin mudzidzisi ainzi Mrs. Sleeper uyo akanga ane makore anopfuura 180 uye aigona kudzidzisa chiLatini kune bhiza. Chikoro chake chakanga chakazara nekudanidzira uye kuseka, zviratidzo kubva kwaari kufanana nekukandira chibvumirano kana tikakanganwa mhosva yacho, uye kunyeverwa kwekuti "tempus iri kuputika!" Akatora boka redu kuItaly kwemavhiki mashomanana. Mumwe nomumwe wedu akagara nemudzidzi weItaly nemhuri yavo uye akapinda chikoro chesekondari cheItaly. Kurarama muchidimbu kune imwe nzvimbo uye mumwe mutauro, uye kutarisa kumashure panzvimbo yako pachako kubva kunze kunofanira kuva chikamu chese dzidzo. Hapana chinhu chakakosha, ndinofunga. Mipurogiramu yekuchinjana yevadzidzi inobatsira kutsigira kwatingavawana.

Ini nomudzimai wangu tina vanakomana vaviri, imwe inenge 12, imwe inenge 4. Muduku wacho wakagadzira mishonga inofungidzira yaanodana nexter. Iwe unotora iyo, shandisa mamwe mabhatani, uye inokuudza zvaunofanira kuita zvinotevera. Inobatsira zvikuru zuva rese. Zvichida ndaifanira kuva nexter yekushandisa apo ndapedza chikoro chesekondari. Zvechokwadi ndakanga ndisingazivi kuti chii chaizotevera. Saka, ndakadzokera kuItaly kune gore rakazara rechikoro semudzidzi wechitsinhanisi kuburikidza neRotary Club. Zvakare, chiitiko chacho chaikosha. Ndakaita shamwari dzeItaly ndichiri, uye ndakadzoka kakawanda. Ndakashamwaridzana neAmerica akamira ipapo muuto pane imwe nheyo iyo kukura kwandakanga ndadzokera kumakore ekupikisa shure. Ndaipfuura chikoro, uye aizobhururuka chero mauto ega achiita muguta reRenissance rerugare, uye taizoenda kuchikepe muAlps. Mumwe shamwari yeItaly, wandisati ndamboona, kubva panguva iyoyo achidzidza zvivakwa muVenice, uye ndaizotarisa kune iyo zvakare. Pandakadzokera kuU.S. Ndakanyorera uye ndakatanga kuenda kuchikoro chekuvakwa.

Panguva iyoyo (1988) vazhinji vevamwe shamwari dzangu vakanga vabuda pamakoroji maviri echipiri vachiongorora migumisiro yepamusoro-kudha doro. Vamwe vakanga vatotanga kuenda kuchikoro. Vamwe avo vakawana zvikwereti zvikuru kuburikidza nechikoro chesekondari vaidzidza zvakanyanya. Mumwe akanga achitarisira kupinda muchiuto. Hapana chakanga chave chichikwezva nechisimba chechikwata chemabhiriyoni-dollar pakutsvaga basa risina kumbovapo.

Ndakaita gore rekuvakwa kwechikoro muCharlotte, North Carolina, uye gore nehafu. Ndinofunga kuPratt Institute muBrooklyn, New York. Iyo yekare yaiva nechokuita chikoro chiri nani. Ikokupedzisira kwaiva munzvimbo yakanyanya kufadza. Asi kufarira kwangu kwakaenda pakuverenga, sezvazvisina kumboitika. Ndakaverenga mabhuku, uzivi, nhetembo, nhoroondo. Ndakarega unyanzvi mukufarira mitemo, iyo yakanga isingaiti kuti zvivako zvipi zvimire kwenguva refu. Ndakaderera kunze, ndakatamira kuManhattan, uye ndakadzidzisa ini zvandakatora kuti ndive dzidzo yeusununguko sans dzidzo, yakatsigirwa nevabereki vangu. The First Gulf War yakaitika panguva ino, uye ndakabatana mumakortiko kunze kweUnited Nations musingaiti nyaya yacho zvakanyanya kufunga. Izvozvo zvakangoita sechinhu chakanaka, chakabudirira kuita. Ndakanga ndisingafungi kuti chii chingaitwa kunze kweizvozvo. Pashure penguva yakati ndakatamira kuAlexandria, Virginia. Uye pandakanga ndapedza pfungwa, ndakadzokazve zvandakanga ndaita kare: Ndakaenda kuItaly.

Chokutanga ndakadzokera kuNew York City uye ndakatora mwedzi yakareba ndichidzidzisa Chirungu semutauro wechipiri kuvanhu vakuru. Ndine chikwangwani mune izvozvo kubva kuCambridge University, iyo yandisati ndambove muhupenyu hwangu. Yaiva mwedzi unofadza zvikuru waipedza nevaya vaizova vadzidzisi uye vadzidzi veChirungu kubva kumativi ose enyika. Pasina nguva ndakanga ndiri muRoma ndichigogodza pamasuo ezvikoro zveChirungu. Izvi zvaiva pamberi peEU. Kuti ndiwane basa, ndakanga ndisingafaniri kuita chero chinhu cheEurope chaisagona kuita. Ndakanga ndisingafaniri kuva ne visa kuti ndivepo pamutemo, kwete nemuchena mutsvuku uye pasi pe-pre-war-on-terra US pasipiti. Ndaingofanira kuita bvunzurudzo ndisingaoneki kunyara kana kutya. Izvozvo zvakanditora zvishoma.

Pakupedzisira, ndakaona kuti ndinogona kugovera imba nevakagara navo, kushanda hafu yenguva kana kudarika, uye ndinozvipira kuzviverenga nekunyora muchiChirungu neItaly. Zvakazopedzisira zvandiendesa kumusha, kudzokera kuVeton, zvakanga zvisina, ndinofunga, chikonzero chekupinda pane chimwe chinhu chakakomba zvakanyanya sechidimbu chekusava mutorwa. Zvakawanda sezvandakada uye ndichiri kuda Europe, zvakadai sezvandaida uye kuda vaItaly, sezvinongoita runyararo sezvandingaita zvinhu zvandinotenda zviri kuitwa zviri nani pane pano, kufambira mberi kwakanyanya sezvandakaita pakureva pasina kutaura, uye guru rakakura sezvandakanga ndakaita pamusoro pehama dzangu dzeEtiopia neEritrea dzaive dzisingatambudziki nemapurisa, ndaive nekusingaperi muItaly.

Izvi zvakandipa ruzivo rwehupenyu hwevakabva kune dzimwe nyika uye vapoteri, sekutsinhanisa vadzidzi kuchikoro chekusekondari (uye kuva ini mudzidzi wekushinja kunze kwenyika) kwainge kwaita. Kuonekwa somutambo we13 wemakore apo ndakanga ndiri 18, uye ane 15 wemakore pandakange ndiri 20, nekuda kwekuti ndaiita saizvozvi, akandipa pfungwa shomanana yekusarura. Kushushikana nevamwe veAfrica muAmerica muBrooklyn ini ndaifunga kuti ndakanga ndisati ndamboita chero chinhu chine utsinye kubatsira. Imiromo yemanano nemitambo yandakaverenga, zvisinei, ndiyo yaiva nzira huru yekuzarura meso angu kune zvinhu zvakawanda, kusanganisira huzhinji hwevanhu pasi pano avo vakawana mari yakaipisisa kupfuura ini.

Iko inofanirwa kunge yakave yakaderera 1993 apo ndakanga ndadzokera kuVirginia. Vabereki vangu vaida nzvimbo munzvimbo iyi kuvaka imba uye kuenda kune. Utopia yakanga yachinja. Reston yakanga yava vazhinji vezvigadziri, makambani emakombiyuta, uye makombiyumu ekupedzisira, neMetro motokari yakagadzirwa kuti ivakwe kune iyo nguva chero ipi zvayo, sezvavakanga vati kwemakore makumi maviri. Ndakasarudza nzvimbo yeCharlottesville. Ndaida kudzidza uzivi naRichard Rorty uyo aidzidzisa paYunivhesiti yeVirginia. Vabereki vangu vakatenga munda pedyo nekoko. Ndakabhadhara imba pedyo. Vakandibhadhara kuti ndicheke miti, kuvaka masvingo, kusvina tsvina, nezvimwewo, uye ini ndakasainira kirasi kuVa kuburikidza nechikoro chekuenderera mberi dzidzo.

Ndakanga ndisina Bachelor's degree, asi ndakave nevadzidzisi vemvumo kuti ndiwane chikoro chekudzidzira chikoro mufilosofi. Pane imwe nguva ndakatora zvakakwana, ndakagamuchirwa navo kuti ndinyore tsananguro uye ndinotora chikoro cheChi Master mufilosofi. Ndakawana zvizhinji zvebasa racho raikurudzira chaizvo. Icho chaiva chiitiko chekutanga chechikoro mumakore akawanda ndakanga ndaona kuti chiri kukurudzira, uye kwete kushora. Ndakanga ndanyengeterera iWa Honor Code, iyo yakakuvimba kuti usatengesa. Asi iniwo ndakawana zvakawanda zvezvinhu zvataidzidza kuti zvive zvakasvibirira bunk. Kunyange maitiro emitemo aida kuve anobatsira, haana kumboita seine chinangwa chekutora chinhu chakanakisisa chekuita zvakadai sekugadzirisa nzira yakanakisisa yokutaura nayo, kana kunyange kuenzanisa, izvo vanhu vakanga vatoita. Ndakanyora tsananguro yangu pamusoro pemitemo yezvakanaka zvechirango, nekuramba vazhinji vavo sevasina maturo.

Pane imwe nguva ndakanga ndaita Dhigirii, uye Rorty akanga atamira kune imwe nzvimbo, uye hapana chaindifarira, ndakasarudza kuenda kune imwe imba iri pedo uye ndikaita PhD muDhipatimendi reChirungu. Zvinosuruvarisa, iyo dhipatimendi yandibvumira kuziva kuti pakutanga ndanga ndichida Tenzi muChirungu, iyo yakanga isina nzira yekuwana kunze kwekutora chikoro chekutanga.

Zvakanaka, dzidzo. Zvaive zvakanaka kukuziva iwe.

Apo ini ndaidzidza kuVa ndaive ndakashanda muraibhurari uye munzvimbo dzekutengesa nekutengesa. Iye zvino ndaitsvaga basa rakazara rakakwana uye ndakagadzikana pamushumo wehupfumi. Yakabhadhara zvakanyanya, uye ndakaona kuti ndaiva yeergoric kune vashanduri, asi yakanga iri nzira mune rimwe rudzi rwebasa mukuisa mashoko pamapepa. Ndisati ndarondedzera basa iri, ndinofanira kutaura zvimwe zviitiko zviviri munguva ino: kushingaira uye rudo.

PaVa Ndakabatanidzwa muchikwata chekukakavadzana, icho chakaita kuti ndinzwisise nekutaura kwevanhu vose. Iniwo ndakatora chikamu mumushandirapamwe wokuita kuti vanhu vashande paVa vachibika zvokudya uye kubudisa vatengesi vaibhadhara mubayiro wehupenyu. Izvi zvakandibatanidza nehupenyu hwevashandi vehurumende munyika yose, kusanganisira avo vanoshandira boka rehurumende rinonzi ACORN, Association of Community Organisations for Reform Now. Handina kutanga chirongwa chekurarama muVa. Ndakanga ndangonzwa nezvazvo, uye pakarepo ndakabatanidzwa. Dai pangave kune imwe nzira yemushandirapamwe wokugumisa hondo, ndingadai pasina mubvunzo ndakapinda mukati iyo zvakare, asi pakanga pasina.

Uyewo panguva ino, ndakapomerwa zvenhema mhosva. Nemhaka yekuti ndaive nekubatsirwa nevabereki vangu pakutsvaga mareji uye nyanzvi nezvimwe zvinhu, ndakakwanisa kuderedza dambudziko racho. Icho chigumisiro chikuru, ndinofunga, kwandiri ndechokuziva kukuru kwekusaruramisirwa kunoshamisa kunowanikwa nevanhu vazhinji sezvikonzero zvezvikanganiso zvakakanganiswa zvekurangwa. Zvechokwadi ruzivo rwakakonzera chisarudzo changu chezvinyorwa zvekutsvaga semunyori wenhau wepepanhau, kwandakasvika pakufunga nezvekusava nemhosva kwekutonga. Chimwe chiitiko chinogoneka chingangodaro chave chiri chipo chekuita kwangu kurega kuzvipira. Iwe haugoni kutaura nezvekupomerwa kwenhema kwemhosva pasina vanhu vanotenda iwe chaizvoizvo wakazviita. Zviitiko zvinosuruvarisa muupenyu hwangu nguva dzose zvave zvichiitika pakusava nokutenda. Iwewo haugoni kutaura nezvekupomerwa kwenhema kwemhosva kunze kwevanhu vanotenda kuti uri kutora mhando yechitarisiko chekartoonishly chiri nyore kuti zvese izvo zvinopomerwa zvinogara zvisiri nhema kune vose. Sei uchipinda muupenzi hwakadaro? Uye kana iwe usingakwanisi kutaura chimwe chinhu chinokosha munhau yako, iwe zvirokwazvo haugone kunyora nhoroondo yehupenyu.

Ndakataura chimwe chinhu nezverudo, handizvo ini here? Kunyange ini ndaigara ndine nyadzi nevasikana, ndaikwanisa kuva nevasikana venguva pfupi uye kwenguva refu kwenguva nenguva uye kubva kuchikoro chesekondari. Pandakanga ndiri paVa ndakadzidza nezvekambani, senhare yekutsvakurudza, sehurukuro yekukurukurirana, sekubudisa zvinyorwa, senhare yekushandura, uye senzvimbo yekudanana. Ndakasangana nevakadzi vanoverengeka paIndaneti uye ipapo pasina. Mumwe wavo, Anna, aigara kuNorth Carolina. Aive akakurumbira kutaura neIndaneti uye pafoni. Akanga asingadi kusangana mumunhu, kusvikira zuva mu1997 kuti akandifonera manheru usiku kuti aizotamira kune Charlottesville uye achange achindidana ini manheru ose. Takagara usiku hwose tikaenda kumakomo mangwanani. Takazotanga kutyaira maawa mana, mumwe wedu kana mumwe, wevhiki nevhiki. Akazopedzisira apinda. Muna 1999 takaroorana. Chinhu chakanakisisa chandakaita kusvikira ikozvino.

Takatamira kuArico, Virginia, kune basa kuCulpeper. Ipapo ndakatora basa muDDC kune imwe nzvimbo inonzi Bureau of National Affairs uye ndakatanga kupenga zuva nezuva. Ndakanga ndagamuchira basa ikoko kunyorwa kwemashoko maviri ehurumende, imwe yevashandisirwo emabasa uye imwe ye "mameneja evanhu." Ndakanga ndavimbiswa kuti handizofaniri kunyora pamusoro pevashandi kana masangano. Muzvokwadi, ndaifanira kutora chikamu chimwe chete chemashoko, akadai sekutonga kweNational Labor Relations Board, uye ichitaura pamusoro payo nezvekuvaka hubatano uye zvakare maererano nekugadzirisa vashandi vako. Ndakaramba kuzviita. Ndakasiya. Ndaiva nemudzimai iye zvino nebasa rake. Ndakanga ndine chikwereti. Ndakanga ndisina matarisiro emabasa.

Ndakatora basa renguva pfupi ndichigogodza pamasuo kuti ndiwane mari kuti ndiponese Chesapeake Bay. Zuva rokutanga ndakagadzira rumwe rudzi rwerekodhi. Zuva rechipiri ndakamwisa. Yaiva basa randakafunga kuti rinofanira kuitwa. Asi chaiva chokwadi chakanga chiri kukukwezva kuchiita. Ndakanga ndisingakwanisi kuita basa nemutariri aindigadzirisa, kana basa randinopikisa tsika, kana basa risina kundipikisa. Chii chandingaita munyika? Heino apo ACORN akapinda, uye muenzaniso wandakatevera kubvira pakashanda vanhu vanobva madiki ne500 makiromita kubva kwandiri.

ACORN akanga aenda kwemakore emakore asingambove nehukama hwehukama, mumwe munhu ari munyika yose kuti anyore mabhizimisi ezvinyorwa uye schmooze nevanyori venhau, kudzidzisa vashandi mukutaura nemakamera eTV, kuisa ma-eds, mweya-kunyora hurukuro, kana kuenda C-Span kuti atsanangure kuti nei vanotengesa vekudya vasati vanyatsoziva zvakakosha kune vashandi kupfuura vashandi. Ndakatora basa. Anna akatora basa DC. Takatamira kuCheverly, Maryland. Uye ini ndakava munhu anotambudzika. ACORN aiva basa, kwete basa. Yaiva yose-mukati uye ini ndaiva mairi.

Asi dzimwe nguva yakaita sekuti isu taitora danho rimwe mberi uye maviri kumashure. Tinodarika mahara emunharaunda mishoma kana mitemo yekukweretesa isina kukodzera, uye vashandi vezvikwata vaizovadzingisa munzvimbo yehurumende. Taipfuura mitemo yehurumende, uye vaifamba neCongress. Apo 9 / 11 yakaitika, kusachena kwangu uye naiveté zvakanga zvichinyanyisa. Apo munhu wose aishanda panyaya dzemhuri akabva aziva kuti hapana chaigona kuitwa zvakare, kuti mubairo wechechi hahuna kuve nekubatsirwa kwakadzoserwa kwairi sezvakanga zvarongwa, nezvimwewo, ini ndichatariswa dai ndaigona kuona chero manyorero kana kubatana. Sei vanhu vachifanira kuwana mari shoma nokuti dzimwe ndege dzinofamba ndege dzinoenda muzvivako? Zvinoita sokuti izvi zvaiva maonero ehondo. Uye apo ngoro dzehondo dzakatanga kurova ndakanga ndakataridzirwa. Chii munyika? Hazvina kuitika 9 / 11 yakaratidza kungabatsiri kwezvombo zvehondo kudzivirira chero munhu kubva pane chimwe chinhu here?

Apo Bush-Cheney hondo dzaitanga, ndakaenda kumarudzi ose ekupikisa, asi basa rangu raiva nenyaya dzepamba pa ACORN. Kana kuti kusvikira ndakatora basa rechipiri rinoshanda Dennis Kucinich kuMutungamiri 2004. Mushandirapamwe wepurezidhendi basa re 24 / 7, saAACORN. Ndakashanda iwo maviri kwemwedzi ndisati ndashandura Kucinich ndoga. Panguva iyoyo, vandaishanda navo muDhipatimendi rekufambisa yemushandirapamwe vakandidzidzisa kuti (1) mushandirapamwe waiva murwi unotambudza wekurwa uye kusakwanisa, uye (2) Ndaive iye zvino ndichange ndiri mutariri waro " Munyori. "Asi ini ndaiva uye ndinoramba ndichitenda nokuda kwekuendeswa mberi, ndakakura nekuwedzerwa kunakidza, uye ndichiri kuita, mutungamiri wedu, wandakawana kazhinji kutyisa kushanda nawo, uye ndakangotora kutora zvishoma zvokudya zvekugezera, kudya pa dhipatimendi rangu, uye kushambidza zvishoma, kusvikira ndisingazoitizve nokuda kwechikonzero chisina tariro.

Makore gare gare ACORN akaparadzwa munzvimbo huru nekunyengedza kwepamberi. Ndinoshuva kuti ndakanga ndiripo, kwete nokuti ndakanga ndiine chirongwa chokuchengetedza ACORN, asi kuti ndivepo kuti ndiedze.

Kucinich nokuda kweMutungamiri ndiyo yaiva yekutanga basa rorugare. Takataura pamusoro porugare, hondo, rugare, kutengeserana, rugare, utano hwakanaka, hondo, uye rugare. Uye zvakare yakanga yapfuura. Ndine basa reA AFL-CIO rinotarisira sangano ravo rezvinyorwa zvebasa rezvebasa, kunyanya basa rekunyora mabhuku. Uyezve ndakawana basa reboka rainzi Democrats.com richiedza kusimudzira musungo wekutyisa muCongress pamusoro pekubhadhara. Handina kumbobvira ndiri munhu weDemocrates kana Republican, asi ndakanga ndatsigira Dennis, uye ndaifunga kuti ndaigona kutsigira boka rakagadzirirwa kuita kuti Democrats ave nani. Ndichiri neshamwari dzakawanda ndinonyatsoremekedza avo vanotenda muzvigadziro kusvikira nhasi, asi ini ndinowana kushandiswa kwekuita kushanda uye dzidzo yakawanda.

Muna May 2005, ndakasarudza kuDemocrats.com kuti ndishande mukuedza kupedza hondo, mukupindura kwandakaudzwa kuti ndinofanira kushanda pane chimwe chinhu chiri nyore sekuedza kuedza kumutsa George W. Bush. Takatanga nekugadzira boka rainzi After Downing Street nekumanikidzira nhau dzezvainzi "Downing Street Memo" kana "Downing Street Minutes" mumusangano weUnited States sehumwe uchapupu hwokuti, Bush nebato vainge vareva nhema pamusoro pehondo yeIraq. Takashanda pamwe neDemocrats muCongress avo vakanga vachiita sokuti vaipedza hondo uye vemuachiti mutungamiri uye vamiririri vemazidhendi kana vakapiwa hukuru mu2006. Ndakashanda nemapoka akawanda emararamiro munguva ino, kusanganisira United for Rugare uye Ruramisiro, uye akaedza kurongedza hurumende yekutenderera kunopomerwa uye pamwe chete.

Muna 2006, mapurisa ekubuda akati madhimokorasi akakunda makuru muCongress ane mvumo yekugumisa hondo yeIraq. Uya January, Rahm Emanuel akaudza Washington Post vanozoita kuti hondo iende kuitira kuti itange "kurwisa" zvakare zvakare mu 2008. Ne 2007, Democrats vakange varasikirwa nehuwandu hwekufarira kwavo murugare ndokuenderera mberi kune izvo zvakaonekwa kwandiri semararamiro ekusarudza maDemocrates akawanda semagumo pachake. Pfungwa yangu yainge yava kuguma hondo imwe neimwe yega uye pfungwa yekugara ichitanga imwe.

Pamusi weArmistice Day 2005, uye tarisira mwana wedu wekutanga, uye neni ndinokwanisa kushanda neInternet kubva kupi, takadzokera kuCharlottesville. Takaita mari yakawanda nokutengesa imba yatakanga tatenga muMadganic kupfuura zvandakaita kubva kune chero basa. Takashandisa kubhadhara hafu yeimba muCollottesville kuti isu tichiri kutambura kubhadhara imwe hafu ye.

Ndakabva ndava mutori wenyika nguva dzose. Ini ndakabatana nebhodhi rekugara kweruzhinji pano. Ndakabatana nemarudzi ose emabatanidzwa nemapoka munyika. Ndaifamba kutaura uye kupikisa. Ndakagara muKapitol Hill. Ndakadzika musasa pabazi reBush muTexas. Ndakanyora nyaya dzekupomerwa. Ndakanyora mabhuku. Ndakaenda kujeri. Ndakagadzira mawebhusayithi ezvematongerwo enyika. Ndakapfuurira kunyorera kutarisa. Ndakataura pamasangano. Ndakakakavadzana nezvevarwi vehondo. Ndakabvunzurudza. Ini ndaigara munzvimbo. Ndakashanyira hondo. Ndakadzidza rugare runyararo, rwekare uye rwemazuva ano. Uye ini ndakatanga kuwana mubvunzo iwoyo kwese kwandaienda: Wakava sei murwi wekuita rugare?

Ndakaita sei? Pane mapatani anowanikwa mune yangu nyaya uye mamwe '? Pane chimwe chinhu chiri pamusoro chiri kubatsira kuchitsanangura here? Ini parizvino ndinoshandira RootsAction.org, iyo yakagadzirirwa kuti ishandise senge online activist nzvimbo iyo yaizodzosera zvinhu zvese zvinofambira mberi kusanganisira rugare. Uye ini ndinoshanda semutungamiriri we World Beyond War, iyo yandakabatanidza sesangano kusundira pasi rose kuti ive nedzidzo iri nani uye kushingairira chinangwa chekubvisa masisitimu anotsigira hondo. Ini zvino ndinonyora mabhuku achipikisana nezvose zvinotsigirwa nehondo, kushoropodza urudzi, nekusimudzira maturusi asiri echisimba. Ini ndabva pakunyorera vaparidzi kuenda kune yekuzvitsikisa-yega, kutsikisa nevabudisi mushure mekunge ndatsikisa bhuku pachangu, kusvika izvozvi ndichingoteedzera muparidzi mukuru kunyangwe ndichiziva kuti zvinoda kugadziridzwa seye tradeoff kuti isvike kune vakawanda vateereri.

Ndiri pano nokuti ndinoda kunyora nekutaura nekukakavara nekushandira nyika iri nani, uye nekuda kwezviitiko zvezviitiko zvakasimwa ini musangano rinokura runyararo mu2003, uye nokuti ndakawana nzira yekusambosiya, uye nokuti internet yakakura uye yave iri - zvichida kusvika kure-yakaramba ichirerekera mune zvematongerwe enyika? Ndiri pano nekuda kwemajini angu here? Ini hanzvadzi yangu ini munhu mukuru asi haasi murindiri wekururama. Mwanasikana wake ndiye mhirizhonga wezvakatipoteredza asi. Ndiri pano nekuda kwehuduku hwangu, nokuti ndaiva nerudo rukuru uye rutsigiro? Zvakanaka, vanhu vazhinji vakave nezvo, uye vazhinji vavo vari kuita zvinhu zvikuru, asi kazhinji haisi rugare rwekuita.

Kana iwe ukandibvunza nhasi kuti sei ndasarudza kuita izvi zvichienda kumberi, mhinduro yangu inyaya yekubviswa kwehondo sezvakaratidzwa pawebhusaiti ye World Beyond War uye mumabhuku angu. Asi kana iwe uri kubvunza kuti ndakapinda sei mune ino gigi pane chimwe chinhu, ini ndinogona kungotarisira kuti mamwe endima dzapfuura dzinojekesa. Icho chokwadi ndechekuti ini handigone kushanda pasi pemutariri, ini handigone kutengesa mawijeti, handigadziriswe, handigone kushanda pane chero chinhu chinoratidzika kunge chakafukidzwa nechinhu chero chipi zvacho, handigone kuita sekunyora mabhuku anobhadhara pamwe nekunyora maemail, nebasa racho. yekudzivisa hondo nezvombo zvinoshanda hazvimboita kunge zvine vanhu vakakwana - uye dzimwe nguva, mune mamwe makona acho, zvinoita kunge pasina kana munhu - anoshanda pairi.

Vanhu vanondibvunza kuti ndinoenderera mberi sei, sei ndinoramba ndichifara, sei ndisingaregi. Iyoyo yakanaka chaizvo, uye ini handiwanzoiti dodge iyo. Ndinoshandira rugare nokuti dzimwe nguva tinokunda uye dzimwe nguva tinorasikirwa asi tine mutoro wekuedza, edza, edza, uye nokuti kuedza kunonakidzwa nekuzadzisa kupfuura chero chimwe chinhu.