Sindinayembekezere Kukhala Wotsutsa Chikumbumtima

Mwa Matt Malcom, World BEYOND War

Sindinkaganiza kuti sindidzakana kulowa usilikali chifukwa cha zimene ndimakhulupirira.

Ngati mukanandifunsa zaka ziwiri zapitazo kuti nditchule zinthu zoyamba zomwe zidakumbukika pamene ndinamva mutuwu, zikanakhala mau ngati ng'ombe, mantha, odzikonda, osadziŵa, ndi osakonda.

Ndikulingalira ndi momwe kukula kumayamba kugwira ntchito. Tsopano ndikuwona kuti mawu awa sangakhale apatali ndi choonadi.

Iyi ndi nkhani yanga, komanso nthano ya mazana omwe abwera patsogolo panga, ena okhawo amadziwika. Ndi nkhani ya aliyense wokonda mantha wopanda dzina, yemwe sanathenso kupereka uniform kuti azindikire kuti chiwawa sichitha kuthetsa mkangano uliwonse. Kwa anthu anzeru kuti amvetsetse kuti nkhondoyi ndi yochepa kwambiri yothetsera mavuto, komanso zochuluka zedi ndi zofuna zapadera, kugwiritsidwa ntchito, chuma ndi mphamvu.

Tsopano ndikuzindikira kuti anthu omwe ndinkangokhalira kuwatsutsa kuti ndi ofunika komanso ofooka, ali ofatsa omwe angalandire dziko lapansi.

Ulendo wanga unayamba ndi lingaliro, lotidwa ndi malingaliro achichepere kuti apambane, panga chithunzi changa chofunika kwambiri ku dziko, kukhala wankhondo, kukhala wolimba mtima ndi kutsimikiziridwa. Chifanizo ichi chakhala chopanda pake. Ndinkafuna kutsimikizira, ndipo ndinkafuna kupita. Ndinagwira ntchito kuti ndikufuna kutsatira bambo anga ndi agogo anga kumalo a usilikali, kuti ndikufuna kukhala msilikali wa asilikali ngati iwo koma ndinkafuna ndekha ndekha, ndondomeko yomwe ndikanakhala nayo pansi pa lamba wanga. Bambo anga adalandira ntchito yake kudzera ku yunivesite ya Texas, ndipo agogo anga adagwira ntchito ku Senior Candidate School potsatira ntchito yolemekezeka. Ndikupita kukadutsa ku West Point.

Kotero ndimayang'ana pa msonkhano wanga. Ndinachita zonse mu mphamvu yanga kuti ndithetse malotowo. Ndinapitanso ku sukulu yapamwamba (yomwe imadziwika kuti USMAPS) yomwe ili pamsewu wopita ku West Point komwe ndinayamba kukana kulowa m'kalasi la 2015. Chaka chotsatira ndinalandiridwa ku 2016 ndipo ndinamva ngati moyo wanga watha.

Kwa nthawi yoyamba kwa nthawi yaitali, chaka changa chatsopano chinali nthawi yopanda maloto kapena zofuna kukwaniritsa. Kufika ku West Point ndi zomwe ndakhala ndikulakalaka kuti ndinaganiza zochepa. M'dziko latsopanoli limene sindinali kukonzekera nthawi zonse ndikugwira ntchito kuti ndikafike kwinakwake, kunali mtendere wamumtima ndipo sindinadziwepo kale. Ndinali ndi nthawi yodziwonetsera ndekha, yotsutsa, ndikuganiza zodzikonda. Ndinazindikiranso za chizoloŵezi chauzimu cha kulingalira chomwe chinawonjezera mphamvu yanga yotsutsa ndi kuganizira mwatsopano.

Ndinayamba kukhala ndi maviseral aversions ku malo anga. Choyamba, chinali kukhazikitsa ndi kuyang'anira chikhazikitso monga West Point. Osati mtundu wokhazikika wachisokonezo ndi "plebe year" monga momwe zidziwikiratu, koma kukhala ndi chikhalidwe chosokonekera cha makhalidwe ndi zomwe tinali kuchita ndi momwe ife tikuchitira. Kenaka, ndinayamba kumva wosasangalatsa ndi mtundu wa anthu omwe tinali kuwaphunzitsa kwambiri kuti akhale; anthu ochita zachiwawa, apolitiki, osagwiriridwa ochita zachiwawa ndi zochitika zosiyanasiyana zachiwawa. Kenaka ndinawona zotsatira zomwe moyo unkachita pa Captain ndi Colonels omwe adabwerera kudzaphunzitsa. Zinakhala zoonekeratu kuti ngati sindinatuluke mofulumira, ndingathenso kukomoka, kufooka, kusweka, ndipo potsiriza (kuvomereza kovuta) kuvomereza.

Ndinakhala mzipinda zodyera amuna ndi akazi ambiri omwe anali atayendabe kale ndikuyamba kutseguka chifukwa cholephera kulumikizana kapena kukonda ana awo. Mphunzitsi wina akudandaula kuti ngati samapatula nthawi ya ana ake pa kalendala yake ya iPhone sakanatha kukumbukira kusewera nawo.

Ndinachita mantha kwambiri ndikumbukira nkhaniyi ndi gulu lina la alonda pa chochitika cha tchalitchi ndikuganiza kuti iwo amadzimva kuti sagonjetsedwe ndi zofooka zotere kumoyo. Ndinadabwa kuti anavomereza njira yomweyi yosunga banja lawo.

Sindikunena kuti iwo ndi anthu oipa, ndikukuuzani kuti moyo uno wachita china kwa ife tonse, ndipo sindinali wotsimikiza kuti ndiwathanzi kapena wothandiza anthu ena onse.

Kotero ine ndinayang'anizana ndi kufunsidwa, kodi izi ndi zoyenera? Osati kokha kwa ine, koma nanga bwanji anthu omwe ntchito yanga ikugwira ntchito, iwo omwe ali "kumtunda uko" ndi iwo omwe ati adzalandire mphulupulu za zochita zanga zamakono zamakono.

Funso limeneli linandifotokozera za tsogolo langa komanso moyo wanga weniweni ndikuwunikira kwambiri anthu ena, makamaka anthu omwe ndinali kuwaphunzitsira kupha.

Ngakhale makamaka, anthu osalakwa anagwidwa pakati kuti awonongeke. "Ndithudi palibe amene ankafuna kuwonongeka, ngakhale kuti nthawi zambiri izi zimawoneka mwachidziwitso popanda kugwirizanitsa lingaliro la moyo waumunthu. Zinali ngati mzere wa zolakwika zomwe tinaphunzitsidwa kukhala mkati. Ngati munapita kutali kwambiri kumbali imeneyo (mwachitsanzo anthu ambiri amtundu anafa chifukwa cha zosankha zanu) zotsatira zake zidzakhala nthawi ya ndende.

Panthawi imeneyi ndinali kulowa mufilosofi yanga-yomwe inali chifukwa chake mafunso anali ofunikira kwambiri. Ndinaphunzira kufunsa mafunso abwino kwambiri, ndinaphunzira kumvera mau amene ndakhala ndikudana nawo nthawi zonse, ndinaphunzira kutsegula malingaliro anga ndikuganizira zambiri kuposa zomwe ndimadziwa nthawi zonse. Ndinalola kuti ndikutsutsane, ndipo ndinatsutsa zomwe sizinali zomveka.

Tsiku lina nditaima pazitsulo za granite pa holo ya cadet ndikukumbukira ndikufunsa mnzanga, "Mike, nanga bwanji ngati ndife oipa?"

Ndizoseketsa, palibe amene amaganiza kuti ndi woipa.

Dziko langa linali kugwera.

Pamene ndikuyandikira zaka zanga zapamwamba ndikuwonekeratu tsopano kuti ndakhala ndikudandaula, kudodometsa, kudzidandaula, komanso kudandaula. Pa masiku anga owona mtima ndinazindikira kuti inenso ndikuyenda bwino ndikukhala bambo ndi mwamuna wamtundu wapatali, tsiku lomwelo. Pa tsiku langa loipitsitsa ndinanama ndipo ndinati zonse zidzakhala bwino ndikapita kunja, mwinamwake Army akugwira bwino ine ndikudziuza ndekha.

Inde, sizinapindule. Ndipo ine ndinagwidwa ntchito yanga yotsiriza nthambi ya Field Artillery-imodzi mwa nthambi zowopsya kwambiri zotheka.

Pamene ine ndinadutsa mu maphunziro anga oyambirira a chidziwitso chenicheni cha chiwawa chinakhala chovuta kwambiri. Ine ndinali kupha anthu ambiri tsiku ndi tsiku mofanana. Tinawonera mavidiyo omwe sali omangidwa "ataphedwa ndi magulu a zigawenga" atasokonezeka pamene adakhala osakayika mu bwalo. Mmodzi wokhoza kusuntha kutali atasowa mwendo pakuphulika. Bwerani! Ulendo winanso ndipo mwamunayo adatheratu.

Ambiri a m'kalasi mwanga anandiuza kuti, "Hade!"

Ndinali pamalo olakwika.

Koma ankhondo anali nane. Ndinali ndi mgwirizano wa zaka zisanu ndi zitatu ndipo anandipatsa sukulu.

Ndathyola.

Tsiku lina mnzanga anandiitana kuti ndikaonere filimu yotchedwa Hacksaw Ridge, nkhani yotchuka ya kukana kulowa usilikali chifukwa cha zimene amakhulupirira pa nthawi ya WWII. Ndinagwiritsa ntchito filimuyi kumutsutsa, ndikulimbana ndi maganizo ake okhudzidwa ndi chifukwa chake nthawi zina nkhosa zamphongo zinali zofunika, chifukwa chake nkhondo imayenera. Ndakumana ndi Micheal Walzer chifukwa chofuula mokweza, munthu yemwe analemba zolemba zamakono za chirichonse Chili Nkhondo.

Koma, panthawi inayake yopanda chidziwitso kwambiri m'mtima mwanga, filimuyi inagwira ntchito pa ine.

Mwadzidzidzi, pakati pa kanema ndinayamba kudwala kwambiri pafupi ndi kusanza. Ndinathamangira ku chipinda chodyera kuti ndizidzisamalira ndekha koma mmalo mosiya, ndinayamba kulira.

Ndinasungulumwa ngati kuti ndinali wonyalanyaza khalidwe langa. Sindinadziwe kuti ndikukhala ndi maganizo ndi chikhulupiliro chomwe chinali mkati mwa chikumbumtima changa pambuyo pa zaka zambiri za kuponderezedwa.

Pamene izo zinadza, komabe, panalibe kubwerera.

Kotero ine ndikuyamba kuchita chinachake, chirichonse choti ndithe kuchoka mu dongosolo losatha la imfa, chiwonongeko, ndi kupha. Ndinadziŵa kuti ndiyenera kuchoka, ndipo moyo sudzakhala wofanana.

Ndinayamba kuphunzira, ndikudziŵa kuti ndine ndani, chikhulupiliro chodziwikiratu tsopano chinali chotani.

Ndinayamba kukonzanso zomangamanga. Ine ndinasintha kwathunthu yemwe ine ndinali kuwerenga, zomwe ine ndimaganiza, momwe ine ndinazisankhira dziko. Chilichonse chomwe ndinkakhala nacho choyera kwambiri, chinachotsedwa pa alumali ndikuphwanyika pansi.

Mtendere unakhala weniweni womwe wakhala utabisika kale pansi pa nkhondo iliyonse yooneka ngati yopanda chilephereka. Kufatsa, kutseguka mitima, kulandira chisamaliro, kulandiridwa kwa anthu othaŵa kwawo komanso ufulu wa anthu olekanitsidwa unakhala malamulo anga abwino kwambiri. Kumeneko kamodzi kunali nsanamira za khalidwe lodzilungamitsa, tsopano panthawiyo panali kugwa pansi. Ndipo ngati mutayang'ana mozama, mukhoza kuona namsongole ndi udzu wa moyo watsopano.

Pambuyo pa zaka ziwiri ndikupempha, kudikira, ndikudziwonetsera ntchito tsiku ndi tsiku, ndinakhululukidwa chifukwa chokana kulowa usilikali chifukwa cha chikumbumtima cha August chaka chino.

Tsopano ndikugwira ntchito ya Preemptive Love Coalition. Ndife bungwe la mtendere lomwe limaphatikizapo ntchito zomanganso kuti zikhazikitse zinthu za mtendere kuti zikhale zatsopano. Uthenga wathu ndi kuwonekera, kumvetsera, ndi kutuluka panjira. Timakonda poyamba, kufunsa mafunso kenako ndikuwopa kuti titha kumbuyo komwe kumatchedwa mndandanda wa adani. Ntchito yathu yambiri ikuyang'ana Iraq ndi Syria panthawiyi, ndipo ndikugwira ntchito pa gulu lothandizira.

Ndilibe mwayi kuti ndapeza bungwe limene ndimayendera bwino kwambiri, ndipo ndikuthokoza kwambiri kudzuka tsiku liri lonse ndikugwirizanitsa mtendere makamaka m'madera omwe ndakhala ndikuphunzitsapo nkhondo!

Ndikugawana nkhaniyi chifukwa kumbali ina ya moyo, chiwonongeko chowonongeka ndi chikondi ndi chifundo ndizo zonse zomwe ndazisiya. Ndimayembekeza kuti ngati tsiku lofa ndi loikidwa m'manda la mtengo wa thundu, tsiku lina likhoza kutuluka kuti likhale lalitali m'nkhalango yamtendere. Mbeu izi zikubzalidwa kulikonse pakalipano (inde ndine mmodzi mwa anthu awiri omwe amakana kulowa usilikali chifukwa cha chikumbumtima changa)

Cholinga changa sichinayambe chosintha aliyense kuganiza kapena kuti ena avomereze nane. M'malo mwake, ndikuyembekeza kuti pogawana nkhani yanga, anthu omwe akulimbana ndi pacifism amalimbikitsidwa, omwe amalimbikitsa mtendere tsiku ndi tsiku, ndipo omwe akudzifunsa kuti ali ndi ndani pa nthawi yakubadwa mwatsopano angakhale ndi mnzake paulendo wosasunthika, wowopsya.

Kudziko lamtendere limene tonse tikudziŵa ndizotheka,

Matt